{Messin’ With A Camera and Some Words}

I’ve taken some kinda aesthetic photos recently. Not a photographer, but I like messing around with my phone camera so yeah, guys, enjoy…

I tell the sunset that I miss you. I tell it how my heart aches and how, if the blue of the sky was a little deeper, it could be an upside-down ocean.

 

~sparkler wizard in his element~

What the mirror sees is what I forget – wild hair and cowgirl jeans. Bracelets up one arm, a metallic road spanning bruised skin stretched over muscle, swimmer’s muscle. Swimmer’s bruises. This is me. 

Fire and noise call me from afar. The drums feel like a revolution. There are crowds, but all I see are hands, tucked in pockets, reaching for the sky, for the fireworks that explode above their heads, just out of reach. Beautiful, but fleeting and no one’s to keep. There’s smoke, but all I see are flames, leaping through the air towards me. They call me, set my soul on fire. There’s sparks that burn my heart and it….it makes me feel alive.

Cars pass like moments, seconds even. Things we wanted to say, but….never did. Times when we turned our unspoken words into sighs….wrote the text message, but deleted it before we pressed send. Talked to the stars. Hid our feelings in metaphors and rhymes. I’m guilty. Another car past.

Stop! Don’t run into the fire, don’t burn, don’t follow the crowd, don’t be hypnotised by the flames, listen to my warning in the dark. Please.

“Mummy, the sky’s on fire.” 

I like talking to the sky. I tell it how I feel and then that I don’t know what to feel. I tell it that I don’t know what to say and it listens. I sing in the car because it makes me feel powerful. Just like when I’m in the water, I feel like I’m on top of the world, but I’m not. I feel the light above me and I fight my way up. 

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Music I Love 🤟🎶 (A Tag)

Heyo people 💙

I saw this tag on my good friend Ruby’s blog and I thought it would be an amazing way to share the music I love with you guys.

Rules: 

  • Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog.
  • Share the tag graphic – sorry, sadly I couldn’t manage to get this onto here :/
  • Link to the original blogs ( Scribes & Archers and Of Rainy Days and Stardust Veins)
  • Answer the questions (I made up some of my own too #sneakyyy)
  • Tag 5 bloggers and give them 10 questions to answer (or just pass on the questions you got)

What is your favourite song?

Had to pick three, sorry not sorry 😉

I find it really hard to explain why I love songs so much, but these are just….I don’t know…the lyrics, the feels, the memories they bring back 😍 I will never get tired of listening to these.

What song defines you as a person?

I have to admit to loving Disney music maybe slightly more than I should??? And everything about this song is so me 😁

What song brings back memories? (I made this question up, but I really wanted to answer it #rebel) 

Every time I hear this song it takes me straight back to my sailing trip in Scotland last summer. I made some of my best friends and learnt so much. If any of you are reading this now…. 🤗…and keep seshing 😉

Just summer and dancing madly☀️🎶

What song takes your breath away?

This beautiful, heart-breaking piece sing by my amazingly talented friend Elm is just 😍😮😭

Favourite song from a musical?

Rebellion. Revolution. One of the best movies ever made 😍🤯

I cannot remember a time when I didn’t want to be Calamity Jane 😂

Me and my Dad love watching Oliver! and this song will always make me smile 🙂

What is a song that you can’t help but love?

Just love this ❤️

Lol, this song is so crazy, but so perfect 🤟👌

What’s one song you can’t help but dance to?

*starts dancing* 💃

*dances even more* 💃💃💃

What’s a song you can’t help but sing to?

Know all the words #proud 😝

What is a song that makes you cry?

Oh my god….😭

So so sad, but so powerful as well 👌😢

 

This just hits home for me….and the video as well…😭😍 Also it reminds me of my friends in Scotland 🙂

I cry every single time. So emotional.

All round amazing song?  

Woah, so good. 🤯 So good 🎶 This is music, people 👍

A recent discovery, but I love it 👏

Another fave 🤟

Such an underrated song, but so fun and full of energy with great lyrics ☀️

I tag whoever feels like doing this! It’s super fun. Let me know if you do this tag. Did you listen to any of these? What did you think? What are some of your fave songs? 

 

 

 

 

 

A World Of My Own

Just some writing 😊💕…..

I think maybe I live in a world of my own – a world filled with paradoxes and following your heart and imperfections and dreams, colour and crazy spontaneity and falling stars and friendship, depth and rebellion and beauty and frustration, oceans and sails and sunsets and waves, new dawns and fire and free spirits and light, shadows and truth and reality and fantasy.

A world where crazy ideas are perfectly acceptable and random things can be so beautiful that they make my soul ache. A world where every emotion is intensified and sent pulsing around my body at the speed of light until I am numb and can feel no more.

A world where perfect words fall out of an endless sky onto my page or screen or out from between my lips. A world that is both ecstatically joyous and desperately sad.

A world where I never quite feel totally present, where I’m like a character, someone with an important story to tell, just not entirely sure what it is yet. A world that is just a reflection of the real one in the deep blue of my eyes.

 

 

Cowes Small Ships Voyage/Race 2018

Every time I step onto an Island Trust boat, every time I sense the presence of the ocean all around me, hear the voice of the skipper, see the faces of my future crewmates – all a little shy, but visibly glowing with excitement and the wild sea breeze – every time, I feel like I’ve come home.

Note: all photos are either by my friend Izzi or The Island Trust, unless otherwise stated 🙂

It’s been an intense week, starting in Plymouth and sailing down to the Isle of Wight to take part in the Cowes Small Ships Race. We spent the eight days onboard Pegasus soaked to the skin, freezing cold, flying across the waves at ten knots with our guard rail in the water, miles from land and battered by the elements. And yet it’s been the best week of my life because, in the midst of all that, I’ve found purpose, true friendship, exhilaration and strength I never knew I had. This experience has made me feel lucky to be alive.

This voyage has only fueled my love for sailing and strengthened my wish to share my experience and all its many benefits with others. Thanks to the inspiration and encouragement provided by the crew, my new friends and personally feeling the effects that voyages like these have, I now have an even greater desire to pursue a future in sail training.

💕

We came ninth outta twenty-three overall, but got awards for Best On Parade and Youngest Crew.

THANK YOU, THE ISLAND TRUST!!

Shadows And Promises

There are shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that were only ever made.
Not kept.

Waves come crawling back to the shore,
On their hands and knees and full of remorse,
They can’t go back.
Not any more.

One day, people will wake up and open their eyes,
Hollowness will fill up and chemistry will override,
And life will go on.

Maybe we’ll stop doing things whilst not really knowing why,
Stop sitting in the dark and spark a fire.
Maybe we’ll set light to our hearts and learn how to truly love.
Maybe…

And I’ll look out for you because, for a reason I don’t even know,
the perfect, hazy memory of you fills my soul.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

I think of all the nights I’ll cry
because I don’t have the answer,
or the reason why.
And that destroys me.

I dream of shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that are only made,
Never kept.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

~Goodbye, Carefree Summer~

Goodbye, carefree summer. You’re nearly gone now. I can still smell you in the wood smoke on my t-shirts though, hear you echoing in the laughter of my friends and feel you in the wind against my face, it’s much colder now. I miss you already.

I said my goodbyes in style. The water was freezing, but it was worth it….I let go, I went wild, I celebrated your legacy all the carefree spirit that’s inside me.

~Goodbye, Carefree Summer~

It’s true – happiness comes in waves.

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf…(which is what I fully intend to do)

The ocean is everything I want to be; mysterious, beautiful, wild and free.

Make waves, my friend 😉 

And now I’m ready. Ready for autumn and it’s untamed beauty. Ready for its fiery chill and crisp embrace. Come at me. I’m ready.

 

Three Wishes – Random Ramblings

I’ve been thinking…if I could wish for any three things, what would they be? It’s such a cliché question, but one with so much potential and so many possibilities that my mind flies from one thing to another until I’m so dizzy that I just have to stop.

Stop. Sometimes when your thoughts get too much and you start to feel too much and your heart fills up and you start to overthink to the point that any minute you might just explode, you just have to stop. Breathe.

I crave depth and freedom and I find it so hard to live in a world where everything is shallow and fake. My own head is the only place I can find some escape from that, but my thoughts are just too much sometimes.

Still, I keep thinking, what three wishes would I choose? Here’s my conclusion. How about you?

  1. That the distance between me and some of the people I care about the most wasn’t so great.
  2. That people in the world would wake up and see what’s important and start working in harmony to achieve it so that everyone could be happy and content.
  3. That I could have a sailing boat and sail around the world helping others, teaching people to sail and loving life ❤️❤️

 

 

Scotland Sailing Voyage: Collab With Ma Crewmates 🌅

The cool kidz 😂

I am really, really excited for this post. Like, really excited 😁 Not only do I get to talk about the best week of my life, I also get to collaborate with some great friends to bring you a post about our voyage with Ocean Youth Trust Scotland!

Here goes.

There’s literally SO much I want to say about the voyage, but I’m going to start with the basics.

  • There were eighteen of us ( 6 sea staff and 12 crew aged between 12-14) onboard Alba Explorer – a 72ft yacht that’s been round the world twice (I think???) and now takes young people like us on sail training voyages 🙂
  • We set off from Oban which is on the West coast of Scotland and sailed round the Hebrides visiting loads of different islands.

For me the voyage was incredible because, not only did I have an amazing amount of fun, make the best friends, learn loads of new things and get to spend time in my favourite place (the ocean), I also took another step towards my future and towards working in sail training.

Alba Explorer – or part of her, anyway!

Now, I’m going to let my friend and fellow crewmate Eva take over 🙂

 Well, I had never sailed before and I was very nervous. When I arrived I met the crew and let’s just say some of the boys were far from gents! So that made me feel even worse. On our first day we were put into our Watches and I wasn’t with my friend so I was even more annoyed. But then I got to know the girls I was in a group with and realised they were both very nice. Never judge a book by its cover!

So after the first day, when I was below deck, I realised I suffered from sea sickness which let me tell you is not a nice feeling! But once it passed I got back to baking and sailing. So after feeling homesick, sea-sick and sorry for myself we stopped and harboured at South Uist and got off the boat. That was the day before the World Cup!

I mentioned it to the rest of the crew which was a big mistake because they were all Scottish and hated England winning! Anyway the game was the semi finals so I was really excited. I wanted to watch the game so badly, but obviously there was no telly on the boat.

The next day we arrived at a harbour and one of the watch leaders took us all on a walk. If you haven’t been to Scotland then you won’t know that the scenery is absolutely beautiful. The walk was lovely, but I was dying to know the football score. There was no phone signal or WiFi so there was no way of knowing. “We’re so isolated we don’t even know the football score! I mean prisoners get to know the football score” I thought to myself.

So every car that drove passed with its window open I shouted, “What’s the football score”. Then eventually a man told us that Croatia won and I was so annoyed! 

Anyway those were the worst bits! The rest was so much fun and I wish I was back there now. The ocean was beautiful and we saw so much wildlife like dolphins, whales, basking sharks, puffins, seals, jellyfish and lots more. I learnt how to sail and had a real adventure. I also made three new friends for life which I think was the best bit!

Aw, Eva, that was great ❤️ I agree – the boys were certainly not gents 😂 and yes, it was beautiful. I wish I was back there now too.

Ewan was another crewmate who joined in this collab. Here’s his part about the voyage.

The voyage on Alba Explorer was extremely fun. I had previously been away on Alba Explorer for a weekend, but that was no way near as fun as the week as you didn’t get to know the others in the crew or set foot on land. Some of my highlights were watching the dolphins jumping at the bow of the boat and the barbecue when we swam in the freezing waters of Tiree. It was very fun and I would definitely do it again!!!

I loved swimming in the sea too, Ewan, but it was definitely freezing 😁

Photo credits to Eva

Next up, we have Sasha’s piece!

I really enjoyed the voyage; it was so fun sailing round Scotland and meeting new people. The sailing was really good and in the evenings we all played games which were really fun. Overall it was a really fun trip.

I’m so glad you had fun, Sasha! ❤️

Fergus is the final crewmate to share his experience in this collab. Here’s his contribution.

Arriving in Oban, I could see the 95 foot mast of Alba Explorer from what looked like miles away which was a sight to behold!

I was quite nervous at the start knowing I was going to spend a week with 17 other people on this boat, but to my relief they were all very nice and great fun. There was a boy called Zach who had come from Washington DC to visit Scotland and Ireland, and also 3 girls who came from England; Gracie, Sasha and Eva. The Clyde Cruising Club Dinghy Section was well represented with myself, Stan, Ewan and Oscar all on board. The skipper’s son was there as one of the crew members too.

I really enjoyed going round the Hebrides and it was without doubt the best week of my life! We traveled to a little bay near Loch Drambuie on Mull, staying there for the first night, then went all the way up to South Uist, then to Castle Bay on Barra, followed by Tiree, Tobermory and then finally back to Oban. It was amazing!

On three of the nights we anchored. On the first night the captain, Stuart Simpson, the first mate, watch leaders and bosun did ‘anchor watch’. On the other two nights we had planned to moor up to pontoons however THE SAME BOAT took our place twice! So the crew had to do anchor watch. Anchor watch is where some crew members need to stay up during the night and watch the anchor, hence the name! The First mate draws a box around the boat on the navigation screen and you have to report to someone if the boat floats outside the box (I know, exciting eh?).

All the hard work was worth it because I and all the others were awarded the RYA Competent Crew certificate!

I can thoroughly recommend an OYT voyage to anyone who is interested in sailing. It was exciting, challenging, rewarding and great, great fun!

Yeah, I totally agree with all of that ♥️♥️

This was so much fun to put together and it brought back some great memories. Thanks to all my fellow crewmates who contributed and to YOU for reading.

Bye!

 

 

What Can We Do?!

This is the top headline I see when I open the news this morning.

Fifth of 14 Year Old Girls Self-Harm

Out of the 5,624 girls who responded to the survey, 1,237 said they had self-harmed.

109,000 children aged 14 may have self-harmed across the UK during the 12-month period in 2015 – 76,000 girls and 33,000 boys.

Those who felt boys should be tough and girls should have nice clothes were least happy with life.

These are all sentences that jump out at me. It makes me think – this is it. This is my world, this is the society I’m growing up in. This is it. I am a fourteen year old girl. It’s my generation they’re talking about here. What can I do?!

I can try my best to be ‘a light in the darkness’ in the only ways I know how, but what am I really doing? How am I reaching the people who really need help? Even if I could, what difference would I make? I don’t understand what that 20% of fourteen year old girls have been through. I don’t understand what it’s like to be that desperate. And I can’t claim to, but I do have to do something.

It’s not because I’m a nice, selfless, caring person. No, I just have to. I can’t sit back and let this happen. We’ve allowed these issues to settle in our society and now we’re paying the price. No, the more vulnerable of us are paying the price and they deserve everyone’s help and support to get out of the place they’re in.

I feel extremely sad and angry. And I feel helpless, I feel like I can’t do anything. The only thing I can do is be a friend. That’s something I can do.

This post isn’t a pretty poem. It’s not well-written. It’s a rant fueled by emotion and desperation. I can see my world being dragged down in front of my eyes and all around me people are getting on with their lives and telling me that everything’s fine and will sort itself out. It’s not and it won’t. Not unless we do something about it.

Thing is, what can we do?

~the ocean + me~

I honestly think that I have saltwater for blood, the rhythm of the tides for a heartbeat and the dance of the waves in my soul. There is never a moment when I am not wishing I was at sea.

I have an obsession – with the ocean.

I want to share this piece that I wrote as part of my application to a spoken word programme in London. I haven’t heard if I got in yet, but I’ll be sure to let you all know. Anyway, I believe it captures exactly how I feel about the ocean.

Ode To The Ocean 

You fill my empty solitude with salt and spray and sea,
The never-ending water and footprints on the beach,
Your rise and fall and ups and downs,
You’ve showed me all my dreams,
And thanks to you, I know exactly who I want to be.

The sense of freedom and of flying,
The immortal fantasy of never, ever dying,
Just gliding through the waves forever and eternity,
Ecstatically content and exactly where I want to be.

The mystery of your rugged beauty chained to age-old rhythm,
An ever-changing surface with no predictable pattern,
And far below that, in your depths, are things we’ll never see,
Wild waters that are both forever trapped and forever free.

You sure know how to transform yourself into a masterpiece,
Stunning sunsets, vivid colours melting into your blues and greens,
Epic storms that summon the winds from all edges of the seas,
Black skies, lightning strikes, moonlit clouds sitting on the breeze.

Your waves they tumble and they crash,
Then they rise again from the ash
Like life’s one, constant motion,
Like a phoenix from the flames – the motion can’t be broken.

The wind in my sails and the waves beneath me come from you,
This feeling inside me tells me what I need to do,
And it tells me just where I need to be.
With you, where I belong, out at sea.

Here’s an audio of me performing it – https://youtu.be/hwBGzQWqt3s

We’re moving into our new truck very soon (super excited about that) and I’ve been decorating my bed. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to having my own room and I’m putting a lot of effort into making it look aesthetic. It’s really just a reflection of me and who I am, but my main theme is the ocean. I’ve printed out tons of photos, quotes, lyrics and poetry about sailing, waves, tides, beaches and the sea – as well as making my own ocean neon sign! I haven’t got a photo of it finished, but here’s one of it half done.

It now has a big swirly wave underneath 🌊

Another thing about the ocean is all the memories it holds for me. The best days of my life have been spent in its company. It’s given me a purpose. I’ve met some of my best friends thanks to it. Ocean = sailing = 😍😍😍


That was a kinda random post about the ocean + me. Hope you enjoyed!