On Friendships, Being Different and The Future…

*Note: not attacking/blaming anyone here. These are just my own opinions. If you disagree feel free to say so and we can discuss it 🙂* 

My little sister came home crying today because she feels so different to all of her friends, she feels like she doesn’t fit in. Truth is, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even want to. 

I walk past and see her standing there surrounded by her entire peer group. They’re all around her – singing stupid songs, doing silly things and talking about TV shows and movies she has no interest in. I catch her eye. She looks so sad and alone.

Later, back at home, she’s pretty upset. “Why can’t my friends be normal?” she asks me. Her perception of normal makes me smile. “They are normal” I tell her “It’s you who’s different.”

She doesn’t want to fit in with them, to be the same, to wear the same type of clothes, to talk the same kind of rubbish – she just wants her friends to be themselves,  to have fun and not care about being ‘cool’ and fitting in. She just wants them to see what’s good and important, to realise that what they’re watching, listening to and basing their small-minded lives around is nonsense. No one ever did anything notable by being like everyone else.

Look, I understand how hard it is to escape from. This stuff is all around us. Our own society is telling us how to think and act, but our whole future is at stake here!

I understand my sister’s struggle. It’s kinda like there’s something that sets us apart. Like our eyes are opened.  Like for some reason we can see the stupidity and danger in following the crowd. I listen to the rubbish some of my own friends and I feel like screaming at them “wake up! Is this how you want to spend your life??!?!”

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually even likes this stuff – TV shows, music, internet trends and crazes? Maybe everyone is only obsessed because with it because it’s popular and they think they’ll be left out if they don’t join in with the hype?  Wouldn’t it be cool if one person was like ‘guys, what’re we doing? This is seriously so bad!’ and everyone else admitted they never liked it either?! There’s always got to be a first one, right?!

When I talk to my friends one-on-one we have the BEST conversations. Sure, they’re often a bit crazy, but that’s okay. We talk about our dreams and hopes and our struggles and things we’ve done and learnt. How we feel and things that have made us laugh or smile. We talk about memories and stories and things we’re scared of. Things that make us happy, things that make us sad. Very rarely do I have these conversations when there’s a big group of us. Everyone’s so worried about being popular and liked and fitting in that the conversation always turns back to the same old nonsense. ‘Here we go again.” I think, without enthusiasm. I either roll my eyes and zone out – or listen, get all worked up and offend someone. Oops! 😂

If you’ve known me or have been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know how much I’ve struggled with friendships. It hasn’t been easy for me to avoid peer-pressure. In fact, I’ve probably succumbed to it more than I’d care to admit when things were really tough. I’ve found it so hard to find anyone like me and by ‘like me’ I don’t really mean into the same stuff – I mean not afraid to be themselves and be an individual.

I remember this one day when I just had to let it all go. Holding in the words was suffocating me and I needed to breathe. I wrote this whole long piece, but this was what stood out to me the most when I say back and read through it  at the end:

Do you ever know for certain that you’re not like them or like them or them or them or them? 
but you wonder who you are like?
And you wonder if you’ll ever find anyone like you?

This is why I’m so grateful for the friends I keep in touch with online. They are what real friendship looks like. Blogging friends, friends I’ve met sailing, friends I don’t see often enough, but talk to via email. I’m so lucky and happy with the friends I have in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

So yeah, I’m worried. I’m worried about the future of our world in the hands of this next generation – my generation. We’re lost and the only thing we have to guide us is the negative influences of our society. You see the sickening results of it all around you – mental health, suicide rates, kids nearly losing their lives after jumping out of cars for some new internet trend. Need I say more?

It’s crazy. It’s tragic. And it has to stop. If you’re with me, let me know. It’s not easy for any if of us, but we can do this together, okay 👌❤️

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43 thoughts on “On Friendships, Being Different and The Future…

  1. Thank you so much for posting this! I reblogged it! It’s so true! I’m so sorry to your sister, I understand exactly where she is coming from. I’ve often found myself thinking the same things as you. I agree 100% about the friends online and I’m so glad more people feel this way about how our society is becoming. 💞😊

    Liked by 4 people

  2. While reading this post, I just couldn’t stop silently applauding in my head. This needs to be said, and I’m so happy that someone would stand up and say it. A lot of my online friends and I seem to be the socially awkward ones – who only know 1% of pop culture, dress differently, and value different things. And I think that’s completely okay to be! I feel like we are often pressured to just succumb to “normalness” just in order to fit in with everyone else, but as Dr. Seuss said, why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I completely agree with you. There’s so much pressure for everyone to like all the same rubbish that society produces and it’s really crazy and wrong. I love that quote xxx thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You are so so right! I feel so bad for your sister, it’s so awful when people have to find that reality. I honestly have like 3 close friends (other than my siblings 😉 ) When I went to church camp earlier this summer, I was really like wow. The disrespect, bullying, flirting, and so much more that I’m not even gonna list, was truly terrible. I honestly couldn’t believe that these kids, at a christian church camp were behaving like this. I really am so thankful to be home-schooled.
    I wish that one day all of those like-minded (like us) would come together and change the world. (maybe that’s too ambitious XD )
    #iamsowithyou
    Love,
    Hannah

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And there’s me thinking it was only me! 😉 I’ve been the odd one out for ever, seeing things in a different way, questioning things no-one else asked about, not understanding the latest craze or having crushes on pop stars. It’s the same and different for young people today. The difference being the pace of life, the immediacy of feedback, the expectations of approval. There are always those who dare to be different, to challenge the establishment, to effect change, which at times will bring ridicule and pain, but they push on to ensure they can always be who they want to be. All of you are amazing, unique, caring, thoughtful young people who dare to be different who will be leaders and change the way others think and perceive the world around them. Be brave, hold your heads high and dare to be different to change the world around you. It’s who you are and will be xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nope, you’re definitely not the only one 😁! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, Melissa ❤️ It means a lot to know that there are other people who think differently and that you’re not alone in your struggle to be yourself and stay yourself. Thanks again xxx

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  5. Me and my friends were all crazy and eccentric and even though we got weird looks, we were respected for being ourselves and being weird, different and funny. That isn’t the case anymore. They’re very different now and into trendy stuff and even though at first it pissed me off that our group were distancing from each other, I came to accept it and respect them for their new interests. I will call them out for saying things I disagree with but people do change as society does. They do still hold a part of their old selves within them but like you’re saying, it’s a shame.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I definitely feel different from my friends. One is outgoing, one is quiet, and yet both seem to be comfortable in their own in skin and radiate that kind of personality that everyone wishes they had. I’m so blessed to be friends with them and grateful for them, but whenever I’m around them, I find myself being… different. Too loud. Not finding the right words. Being teased, and taking it even if it hurts. I’ve known them for forever, but I feel like they’re growing up, and I’m being left behind in a way that makes it awkward for me to try and grow. To be me. Finding myself is something I’ve been trying to do for so long, and yet I never have an answer. Am I loud, or am I quiet? Am I brave and bold or timid and hesitant? Somewhere in between? The only parts of me I do know, I never seem to like very much.

    I dunno, this comment is just becoming a novel, so I’d better stop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I understand completely. It’s so so hard to know where you fit in sometimes, what your place and personality is. I guess it’s just about not being anything or doing anything for others. Be who YOU think you are and don’t change for anyone else. I hope you figure it out. I’m always here if you ever want to talk. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I feel like your sister does a lot. It’s been really hard for me to make or keep good friends recently because I’ve been having a hard time and having lots of breakdowns which kills what was left of my self-confidence. Last year was a nightmare, I felt so alone, I hope it gets better this year.

    Thank you for this post, it’s so encouraging and inspiring! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for this. It’s a really important message and I can relate so much. I know that living where I do, in the country, I don’t have access to things like Netflix like most of my ‘friends’ do. I say friends in quotations because sometimes I don’t believe that they are really my friends. I’ve often found myself wondering what my friends really are, whether they really are my friends. I know that I’m not like them in so many different ways and more often than not I get roped into doing things that I don’t want to do, or I end up laughing at myself falsely because of something I do in class that the rest of the class finds funny.
    Thanks again, xo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My pleasure, Emily. I’ve had a similar thing. Living such an alternative lifestyle, I don’t watch, listen to and experience the same stuff as everyone else which sometimes makes me feel left out, but mostly I’m proud of and glad for. It’s all a load of rubbish anyway and I’m not worried about doing it just to fit in. I’m sure you’re the same. We’ve just gotta be happy with who we are, girl, and accept that we’re not like them. Hopefully one day everyone will wake up to the fact that what they’re being influenced by is all fake and stupid, but until then…..xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow…good post… so much passion and love in this.
    I’m breaking inside for your little sister…it’s so hard to feel that way, especially when you’re younger. When you want to treasure how God has made you to be open, to be yourself and not be scared to be that way..but to have friends that dampen that outgoing spirit…. You are such a light. You and your sister… Just from the passion I can see in your posts I can tell that you are such a wonderful strong christian girl! And although it is hard to see hurting people, and people that are confused, and excluding, and so caught up in their phones and movies and don’t even want relationships with God- you’re right! We can make a difference. My prayer day by day is that I would be able to love with God’s love, to have strength with GOD’S strength, and that he would give me HIS courage, HIS patience, and HIS joy. I see all of those things in you, Gracie. Keep shining for him. Keep being that “light in the darkness”. And we (your blog friends) are always here to pray for you and talk to you and encourage you. Just like you have encouraged, talked to and prayed for us! I am so blessed to have amazing friends in my church and on my blog to talk to about things… Love you, girl! Awesome post! God is going to use you and your passions in HUGE ways!
    Do you go to a youth group or anything?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi! First off, thank you so so so much for your lovely comment. It meant the absolute world to me. ❤️❤️ I’m so glad you agree and that you believe in the same things I do.
      Secondly, though many, many of my friends are and I know we share most of the same core values, I’m not actually a Christian. I’m still figuring out what I believe and where I fit in in that sense, but I still aim to be a light in the darkness and to spread as much hope and goodness in the world as I can.
      Thank you again! Keep in touch and maybe we can talk about this some more!? I’d love to hear more of your views on this! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Aww, no problem for the comment!
        I definitely do!
        Oh, okay. That’s alright, everybody has different views! Just seek God! If you become a Christian, you could be an amazing light for Him! Yes, being a light is amazing! That’s what I love so much about Jesus and the word of God! I love this verse: Matthew 5:14-16

        “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.
        And then there’s another that says: You are the light of the World. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.
        I just love the aspect of being a light for Jesus!
        Yes, I would love to talk more about it! I’m always here if you have any questions or just wanna talk! I’d like to hear some of your views as well!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Hell, I really really get this. Especially the finding someone like you part that doesn’t necessarily relate to being interested in something. Just finding someone who you click with and who sees the world a little like you do. Really hope that your sister is okay. The world is made up of complex and layered characters – it’s just about finding them. Love you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. 110% and more agree to this post Gracie! I think it’s wonderful that you wrote about this. I completely understand what your sister is going through and how you described the feeling as suffocating. All you can remember in these times is to embrace that difference no matter how hard it might be. To keep seeing that different perspective of the world from the others that are blind sighted by whatever is “popular”. Because, quite frankly, we are the future! How long will the trends last? The things that are popular? They change every single day and people follow this lifestyle and devote to it. It’s like a veil that separates the truth and reality of our world problems that nobody our age cares to see, and it’s very alarming! I’m so glad to have conversations with people like you in my life where we can not only express our concern by talking to one another, but speak up about it here online. Was wondering if I could link your post to something similar I was writing? Lots of love and please tell your sister to keep being herself. I know it’s hard but it’s so worth it in the end ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO much for your support, encouragement and for sharing your experiences, Aqsa. Means so much ❤️ I completely agree with you on everything you said! Of course you can link it. Looking forward to hearing what you have to say and yesssssss, it’s so important to me to talk about this stuff with people my age and online. Lots of love and thanks again. I’ll tell her xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Your poor sister, this almost made me cry, I have been in this situation myself.
    I often found myself surrounded by people with phoney outlooks and false passions, people who wanted to talk to me about their new Xbox, whatever that is but why that is, must be a far more pertinent question.

    What of these reasons, the why and the how’s, our laziness needs to stop, this peer pressure to follow trends, remember when it was fashionable to set fire to one’s self while in the shower, the police found many petrolfide people who got burnt alive because they forgot to turn the shower on!

    People need to follow themselves instead of others.

    So tell ‘I’ that she is not alone.

    Take care, Gracie and family.
    : Tom.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. An anime character once said something of this sort- ‘Humans are strong because they have the ability to change themselves.’ I was always something of a misfit in spite of being a pretty much cliche girl. But I’m surprised at how much I’ve changed, and how by edging farther away from ‘normalcy’ people have begun to accept me. It’s strange, I guess, and ain’t the same for everyone, but I must say I’m blessed to have the most amazing friends. No joke.
    It took me years and years to decide that I was going to remake myself. I understand better than most people how it feels to be judged for not fitting in, and it’s made me wonder what ‘normal’ means exactly.
    There are people who say that it’s not a bad thing to stand out, and of course it isn’t, but it’s only the ones who truly stand out who realise what if feels like to be lonely. I won’t tell you to press through it, or that being different is something you should embrace, because I have struggled with it myself. But I know for sure that with every day we grow a little and learn a little more about ourselves, and there’ll be a day when it will all be worth it. 👍
    So great to read one of your posts again! xx Okay, I’m going to go see what I’ve missed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your experiences, Mukta! It’s really interesting to hear what you have to say 🙂Sometimes people are respected and admired for being different and that’s great, but I guess that, like you said, it’s not the same for everyone. That’s partly why I love the blogging community – pretty much everyone is accepted as who they are and it’s a lot easier to find like-minded people.
      The perception of normalcy is definitely an intriguing one. I too often wonder what that concept really means. What conclusions have you come to?
      Thank you so much for the encouragement. It means more than you could ever know ❤️
      It’s amazing to hear from you. It’s been too long xxx

      Like

  14. I was very upset to read your blog.These so called friends are not true friends and obviously their life consists of stupid remarks because they know no different.Unfortunately this is the world today.If all youngsters were as caring sharing as knowledgeable and happy like your sister the world would be a better place. Tell her to stay as she is and not to be influenced by these people. It will pass and she will find true friends in time. I remember at one stage when I was at school had a similar experience but I held my head up high and stuck to my beliefs and wasn’t frightened to speak up.In the end they were the losers.You are all amazing. DON’T EVER CHANGE. Xxxxx

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