Following On From Empty…

What I talked about in my last post, Empty, is something that’s very important to me and, after a conversation with a friend a couple of days ago, I’ve  decided to elaborate on the thoughts that I shared.

There is this thing that I see in so many of my generation and that I recognise in myself – the desire and desperation to be stronger, more confident, prettier, more than what you already are. It stems from an underlying fear that somehow we are not enough. I think what I’ve learned from it is that sometimes it’s okay to break or to be broken, sometimes it’s okay to be weak or just not as strong as you’d like. Sometimes that’s where we’ve got to start.

Hating ourselves gets us absolutely nowhere. We have to accept where we are and then build on that. We have to do it for real – fake confidence and fake strength won’t do the trick. We cannot hide our hearts under fabricated shields.

As I said in my poem, I’ve seen some of the strongest, most confident people in my life break down and cry because underneath it all they’re hurting so badly and they hate who they are. I’ve heard people who five minutes ago made a stupid suicide joke tell me they thought about taking their own life last year. They use this whole don’t-care attitude to hide their pain.

I do it too. I’m not as sure of myself as people seem to think, I’m still learning, I’m still growing, under the confidence, there is still definitely insecurity about who I am and who I’ll become….

I think that if we all opened up more, if we were all more honest and real, then our so called ‘flaws’ wouldn’t need hiding and we could work on them together. We could build ourselves up into truly strong, confident people. And of course, somethings aren’t even flaws, we just see them that way. Maybe we’d come to realise that they’re not what make us weak.

I love my friends and I care so much about my generation and our future. What future do we have when we’re growing up learning to hate ourselves? What future do we have when everything we do, everything we say, everything about ourselves is fake? It’s a defence that we put up to stop others from seeing who we are underneath. We can’t live our lives like that.

You can keep covering your wounds with plasters, but they won’t get any better. You’ve got to treat them properly and to do that you have to take the plaster off, no matter how much it hurts.

It is your responsibility to love yourself. No one else can do that for you. It is your responsibility to be content with who you are and to work towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.

It is us and only us that can make that change in the way we think and the way we live our lives, but we have to support each other too.

So stop tearing people down and start building them up. Stop helping your friends put the plasters on and start ripping them off. Start listening, start sharing.

You may not be perfect, but at least you’re not fake.

Gracie ✌️

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38 thoughts on “Following On From Empty…

  1. Gracie!!! I’m so i have no words.
    You, my friend, are so mature beyond your years it’s just beautiful to be a part of. Also I’d like to know if you’d like to do a colloboaration with me on this subject? Or mental health in general? Only if you wish.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gracie this is so absolutely true. People always want to be more, because they think that being “more” will make them seem better to people which in turn will make them happy. It’s relatively easy to forgive others, but hard to forgive ourselves. I do think people can take the idea too far though, but I totally agree with what you’re saying. ❤❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for commenting, Hannah ❤️ Yes, I agree, trying to be more than you already are can be a positive or a negative – it’s what fuels that desire to change that counts. Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Gracie you’ve done such a good job of explaining it here, i constantly strive to be stronger because being weak feels like a bad thing, but you have to break in order to learn and grow, xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have so many thoughts. I 100% agree with everything you said in this post. So many people are focusing on covering thigs up to appear perfect to realise that it’s okay to have flaws and be broken and a whole lot less than put together. Your writing is changing things, starting conversations and helping loads of people and I hope you know that❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As always you’ve nailed it Gracie. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are in life we all have doubts at times. It’s perfectly normal. Even the most confident aren’t always as confident as they like you to believe. It’s at those times you find your best friends and realise how important your family are. You’re a very special person, keep being you and true to yourself, that will carry you through. Believe in who you are and know you are beautiful inside and out. Lots of love xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much 😊 It’s true, everyone goes through tough times and no one is ever quite as confident as they make out. Friends and family make it all a lot easier. Loads of love xxx

      Like

  6. another great piece you have written.You amaze me at all the ups and downs you write about.It’s good to cry sometimes it’s like a relief of all that builds up inside.We all go through different phases in our life.But you must believe in yourself and stay as beautiful inside as well as outside as Melissa has said. Xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love how you’ve written this! It’s so true and I don’t think a lot of people realise just how important self-love is. It’s so easy to lose ourselves in the pace of today’s world and I think that as long as we stay true to ourselves, we’ll do just fine! Yeah? Anyway, love this, it’s so important and needs to be talked about!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Finally, everything takes as long with one hand out of action.

    You are quite right my girl, we often put on facades or pirate someone else’s personality.
    Maybe it’s a popular or fashionable personality, but it’s not yours.

    As I say, we need to be true to ourselves, but not just ourselves but to those around us.

    I find that I sometimes put on a pretentious persona, and I don’t know how, how could I be any more amazingly humble?
    Just another good old contradiction.

    And I think we all do it, we all do want to be better and that’s good, but not by bettering ourselves on others.

    Anyway, that’s just a few thoughts on the matter, but I would like to give it a lot more coverage.
    Take care, Gracie.
    And stay amazing!
    Love you and be good my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Gracie! I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award. You don’t have to participate, but I thought I would let you know. 🙂 The information is on my most recent post if you are interested.

    Like

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