Me At The Moment (In Quotes, Lyrics and Aesthetics)

 

 

Love,

Me at the moment xxx

 

 

 

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On Friendships, Being Different and The Future…

*Note: not attacking/blaming anyone here. These are just my own opinions. If you disagree feel free to say so and we can discuss it 🙂* 

My little sister came home crying today because she feels so different to all of her friends, she feels like she doesn’t fit in. Truth is, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even want to. 

I walk past and see her standing there surrounded by her entire peer group. They’re all around her – singing stupid songs, doing silly things and talking about TV shows and movies she has no interest in. I catch her eye. She looks so sad and alone.

Later, back at home, she’s pretty upset. “Why can’t my friends be normal?” she asks me. Her perception of normal makes me smile. “They are normal” I tell her “It’s you who’s different.”

She doesn’t want to fit in with them, to be the same, to wear the same type of clothes, to talk the same kind of rubbish – she just wants her friends to be themselves,  to have fun and not care about being ‘cool’ and fitting in. She just wants them to see what’s good and important, to realise that what they’re watching, listening to and basing their small-minded lives around is nonsense. No one ever did anything notable by being like everyone else.

Look, I understand how hard it is to escape from. This stuff is all around us. Our own society is telling us how to think and act, but our whole future is at stake here!

I understand my sister’s struggle. It’s kinda like there’s something that sets us apart. Like our eyes are opened.  Like for some reason we can see the stupidity and danger in following the crowd. I listen to the rubbish some of my own friends and I feel like screaming at them “wake up! Is this how you want to spend your life??!?!”

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually even likes this stuff – TV shows, music, internet trends and crazes? Maybe everyone is only obsessed because with it because it’s popular and they think they’ll be left out if they don’t join in with the hype?  Wouldn’t it be cool if one person was like ‘guys, what’re we doing? This is seriously so bad!’ and everyone else admitted they never liked it either?! There’s always got to be a first one, right?!

When I talk to my friends one-on-one we have the BEST conversations. Sure, they’re often a bit crazy, but that’s okay. We talk about our dreams and hopes and our struggles and things we’ve done and learnt. How we feel and things that have made us laugh or smile. We talk about memories and stories and things we’re scared of. Things that make us happy, things that make us sad. Very rarely do I have these conversations when there’s a big group of us. Everyone’s so worried about being popular and liked and fitting in that the conversation always turns back to the same old nonsense. ‘Here we go again.” I think, without enthusiasm. I either roll my eyes and zone out – or listen, get all worked up and offend someone. Oops! 😂

If you’ve known me or have been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know how much I’ve struggled with friendships. It hasn’t been easy for me to avoid peer-pressure. In fact, I’ve probably succumbed to it more than I’d care to admit when things were really tough. I’ve found it so hard to find anyone like me and by ‘like me’ I don’t really mean into the same stuff – I mean not afraid to be themselves and be an individual.

I remember this one day when I just had to let it all go. Holding in the words was suffocating me and I needed to breathe. I wrote this whole long piece, but this was what stood out to me the most when I say back and read through it  at the end:

Do you ever know for certain that you’re not like them or like them or them or them or them? 
but you wonder who you are like?
And you wonder if you’ll ever find anyone like you?

This is why I’m so grateful for the friends I keep in touch with online. They are what real friendship looks like. Blogging friends, friends I’ve met sailing, friends I don’t see often enough, but talk to via email. I’m so lucky and happy with the friends I have in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

So yeah, I’m worried. I’m worried about the future of our world in the hands of this next generation – my generation. We’re lost and the only thing we have to guide us is the negative influences of our society. You see the sickening results of it all around you – mental health, suicide rates, kids nearly losing their lives after jumping out of cars for some new internet trend. Need I say more?

It’s crazy. It’s tragic. And it has to stop. If you’re with me, let me know. It’s not easy for any if of us, but we can do this together, okay 👌❤️

Story Time: Thinking Differently + Not Being Influenced By The Media (Even If Your Peers Are) ~RANT ALERT!!!~

Everyone knows that media influence is an issue, right? But, as I’ve discovered, it’s only when you experience the power of this influence first-hand amongst people you know and care about that it really hits home. And when it does hit, it hits hard.

Here’s what inspired this post. Story Time!

Please note: I am not attacking my friends by sharing this story. I love them all very much and do not blame them at all. It is the media that should be held responsible for this incident. 

A couple of days ago I was hanging out with a group of friends – mixed ages, boys and girls. The boys were having a conversation and so the girls and I decided to wander over to see what they were talking about. It turned out that they were discussing what they look for more of in a partner – personality or looks? After laughing at them for having such a weird conversation we started listening and joining in. 

It all got a  bit technical when they started breaking it down into percentages. At first us girls were just laughing our heads off. It was so amusing, but then it became a bit more ‘interesting’. Much to our surprise most of the guys seemed more interested in girl’s looks than in their personality :0

One of them was like ‘oh, 100% looks, definitely’ and so one of the others asked him to describe what his perfect girlfriend would look like. To my shock and disappointment he started listing every single beauty stereotype that the media projects at us – blonde, skinny, etc.  All the other boys agreed with him. These were kids I had spent my childhood with, boys I had grown up playing in the dirt with. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

I admit I got a bit cross with them 😉 ‘Guys, come on’ I said ‘That’s such a messed up view! And plus, it’s not even your view, it’s what you’ve watched on TV, read or seen online, it’s not you. You’re being influenced, told what to think! Surely that’s not what you want? Your view of beauty should not be what a corrupt society has put into your head!” I didn’t say all of that in exactly those words because looking back now I am not so blinded by confusion and sadness and frustration, but I did rant on along similar lines.

Some of the boys’ reactions was defensiveness. “Oh, well, I did say I valued personality more”, one said. But what really shocked me was what one of my friends said. He looked at me, smiled and shrugged. “What’s the point of having a girlfriend if she’s not pretty?” 

I felt like screaming. ‘You have no idea what you’re saying!” I thought. ‘You’re young and all around you that’s what people are telling you’ I just shook my head sadly and that was the end of the conversation. 

However, that whole incident stayed in my thoughts for ages after that. It made me wonder what sort of a chance my generation have and how they’ll ever learn what’s right when they are constantly being told otherwise. It also made me think about my place in all this – I may have different opinions at the moment (due to the way I’ve been raised), but how long until this starts to affect me too?

For example, all of my friends (these same ones, but the girls too) are obsessed with the TV show Friends. Ok, ok, I know this is going to be controversial.  I know Friends is widely loved, but hear me out, alright?

They keep trying to get me to watch it, gossiping about what episodes they’re on and squealing about the latest inappropriate stuff they’ve learned from it. That’s after they’ve whispered about spoilers, discussed each character in the finest detail and sobbed  on each other’s shoulders because they only have two more seasons to go before they have to start re-watching episodes. Seriously, my eyes hurt from so much rolling.

Image result for friends

But it really isn’t this that I have a problem with. I’m as much of a fangirl as anyone when it comes to favourite TV shows. I recently jumped up and down more than I’d care to admit when the trailer for Anne With An E Season 2 was released. Any fellow fans out there?

Image result for anne with an eImage result for anne with an e

Image result for anne with an e

The thing that gets to me is the fact that the programmes I watch have positive messages, strong characters, great portrayals of real life relationships, as well as being amazingly entertaining! Whereas things like Friends are full of negativity, fakeness, inappropriateness and although they may make you laugh, if you think about it they’re just trash. Even when I ask my friends what’s good about Friends they struggle 😂

I have made the decision not to watch Friends – even though all of my friends are. In fact, I make the decision to think different and act differently just in general. This isn’t easy – I’m a teenager growing up in the same society we all live in after all, but hey ho, I’m giving it a go.

How about you? 

Image result for dare to be different

 

An Experience At Sea 🌊⛵ (Photos and Highlights)

Hi all,

Yep, I really did go to sea! ⛵🌊 And it was incredible.

On Saturday I (very reluctantly) returned from a four day home-ed sailing voyage with The Island Trust in Cornwall. I learnt some brilliant skills, met some super cool new people and made some fantastic memories. The whole experience will stick with me forever.

Pegasus – the vessel shown below – was our home for the time we were at sea.

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Describing the whole trip would take a long, long, long time so I’m just going to be sharing a load of my highlights and some photos with you guys today.

Enjoy!

  • Making some absolutely awesome friends! If you’re reading this right now, guys, I just wanna say how much of a pleasure it was sailing with you and getting to know you over the time we spent together last week.

Just in case you didn’t know – I’m on the very right

  • Learning how to crew a sailing ship and how it all works. Working as a team with the others to sail Pegasus 72 nautical miles all in all was absolutely brilliant.

Creds to Megan – another crew member 🙂 Pegasus is on the left.

  • Sailing at night! Learning to navigate and not getting to our destination until midnight was preeeeetty cool. The land and the sea were sequined with what seems like millions of lights used to find our way – a beautiful sight.

Megan’s again ❤

  • Seeing wild dolphins! A surreal experience. I still can’t believe it.

Thanks for this one, Isaac.

  • Sunsets.

  • Watching a sailor set the record for sailing non-stop around the world in the smallest boat. We greeted him at the finish line and had the honour of being pretty much the first human beings he’d seen in the best part of a year. I hope he appreciated the horns and the mexican wave 😁

  • Making a sand sculpture of a mermaid with Megan on the beach.

  • All the HILARIOUS inside jokes 😂😂😁
  • Enjoying the sun, the waves and the views up on deck. Feeling the motion of the boat (fortunately I wasn’t seasick 😀)


  • Steering! I loved the feeling of (kinda) being in control of the boat and of having to really concentrate on all the elements of navigation (the wind, landmarks, where we’re trying to go)

Now for some other random photos (credits to Megan, Isaac and Craig – the skipper)

Anchored in a coastal river mouth for the night.

A HUGE ferry.

Another stunning sunset.

The bow (front) of Pegasus.

Not sure if this was early morning or evening? Either way – very pretty.

Dusk on the water.

Another bow shot.

Look at the skyyyyy!

So yeah! A very special experience and one I hope to repeat in the near future. Thank you, Island Trust for making this so amazing! ❤❤❤

I hope you enjoyed reading about this and seeing all the photos!

Gracie xxx

Q and A – Ask Away!

Hiya All!

As promised, here is a Q and A post for you guys! I thought it’d be great for you to get to know me better so… ask away! This is thr perfect opportunity. You may ask as many questions as you like about my life in general, my writing, my future plans, the things I love, anything!

Looking forward to answering them, guys! Thanks in advance!

Gracie xxx

 

 

Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

There is so much negativity building up at the moment. Within families, within communities, within society, within humanity as a whole. These things, these things that are the pillars of our world – they’re breaking down, being replaced.

It’s a massive challenge as anyone really, but particularly teenagers, to grow up in this world. It’s so essential that we, as the future, hold on to what is important. Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

This is a huge struggle, but I’m trying to make the decision to understand and believe in these things.

Soooo, that was the thought of the day! If you guys have any comments on that please do let me know.

Now, I’m going to do like a mini update/catch up thingy with everything I need to tell you all. There’s quite a bit!

  • The amazing Bri has just started blogging again after a couple of months. This is such good news. Please go check out her blog and introduce yourself, it’d mean the world to her.
  • I’m participating in Hannah’s photography contest! No, I am not a photographer, but I wanted to try something new and Hannah is just the sweetest, loveliest person.
  • Remember the social experiment a load of you helped me out with a couple of months ago? Well, I’ve nearly finished putting together all my results and I’ll be sharing them on here very soon. Stay tuned.
  • I’m staying at my Nan’s at the moment looking after her as she just has a knee replacement. She’s doing really well as she’s super determined. She ALWAYS reads my blog so please give her a quick ‘get well soon’ in the comments. She’d be thrilled. 😀
  • I’m going to be doing a ‘day in the life of me’ post soon. So I’m quite excited ’bout that. Also, I’m thinking maybe a little Q and A sesh maybe?
  • I think that’s it??????

What was your thought for today? Tell me all your news! Are you excited for all my future plans on this blog? Lemme know….

Get To Know Me Better!

Hiya all,

I often think that there’s SO much my blogging friends don’t know about me. Oh sure, they know all about my ideas for world change and my deepest inner struggles, but not much about, well, me 🙂 So today I’ve decided that I’m going to tell you guys a lot more about myself. Here goes!

 

Let’s start with the basics, shall we? My name is Gracie and I am 14 years old.  At the moment I live in a van on a farm in *looks out of window* rainy, old England.

I am a teenager with an infinite mess of feelings, dreams, plans and struggles. I am a writer, a spoken word poet, a teacher, a blogger (obviously) and someone who loves baking, cooking and being with others. I am studying socio-anthropology (the social study of humanity) as well as doing yoga, film-making and Italian. 

I also am home-educated and I love it! I get to make decisions about what’s relevant to my life and my future and study what I’m passionate about.

My greatest dream is to be able to help others, but I often feel unbelievably helpless and wonder if I’m more naive than anything else? I live for those crazy of moments of abandon that make me feel like summer, songs that inspire rebellion, campfire smoke settling on my clothes,  sunsets and the times where my words fly from my heart and through my lips like it is their very purpose to change the world.

I get lonely, I get discontent, I get anxious and worried and I can’t bear to not know what’s happening, but I believe that this is the right path for me.

My family lives a very unusual lifestyle. Ever since I was a very small child, my parents have tried to teach me and my siblings to help others when we can, to challenge the way our modern society works, to make a difference and make a change, to be ourselves and be honest. Through the life we live, we hope to practice all these things.

*casually quotes my about page* lol

I have traveled a lot in the UK. In fact, my family and I are about to leave everything familiar behind and go off traveling permanently, perhaps even around Europe and beyond. My Dad has built a tiny home on the back of a vintage truck and we are going to live on the road, making the statement that alternative living is possible for other families, that there is another way to live your life in our crazy, messed-up world. We are advocates for positive change within our society.

I don’t know what the future holds…..

I obviously can’t sum up my whole being in just this one post, but I hope you’ve got to know me a bit better and enjoyed reading this. Feel free to do the same if you think your readers could benefit from getting to know you more!

I want to make my posts a bit more based around my life and a bit more personal. Here are a few ideas I’ve had, please vote for your (personal) favourite. See what I did there? XD

See ya guys later! Don’t forget to vote!

Wish Me Luck – Spoken Word Poetry Performance Update

Hello there!

In my recent post I talked about an urban music and spoken word poetry performance I am going to be a part of very soon. Well, I’m here with an update on that!

  • The performance is on Thursday and I am SO excited.
  • I went to London for the rehearsals last week and it was AMAZINGGGGG!
  • I have two solos.
  • I am performing two very poignant, topical spoken word pieces written by yours truly.
  • At the rehearsal I spent a hardcore one and a half hours with a spoken word poet learning everything you need to know about performing.
  • I spent another hour running through the whole thing with the rest of the group who are sharing all different genres of music, but all with an urban twist – rap, acapella, reggae, etc.
  • I am basically the complete polar opposite of the word urban #countrygirrrrl so I went to the rehearsals in my wellies. Picture below!

Stay tuned for photos of the actual performance coming soon! Oh, and wish me luck, my friends! *dances* *practices like crazyyyyy* 

 

Life Update: Headaches and Hope, Honesty and Positivity + Things To Look Forward To!

So hello everybody, I feel the need to do a life update just because I feel like my blog has become really impersonal recently and that I haven’t really been sharing my honest thoughts – which is what I’ve always done on this blog and what I want to continue doing to fulfill the purpose of this site – to be a light in the darkness.

So first off, I’ve had quite a lot of headaches lately, partly because of how busy I am (I’ve started a ton of new projects and schoolwork activities – more on that later) and partly because I have been getting a bit stressed at everything that’s going on in my life.

This time – between now and the beginning of summer – is being spent by my family preparing to go away traveling at some point in the autumn. We keep going through option after option, plan after plan, changing our minds and having loads of long conversations. This gets me really stressed out because, though I’m super excited for what the future holds, the lack of having a definite plan really throws me and stresses me out. So yeah, that whole thing gets a bit emotional at times. 🙂

 

Another reason I’ve been getting headaches is the business of my days, I’ve taken huge steps in my education – I am now learning Italian, socio-anthropology (the social study of human beings 🙂 for all those who participated in my ‘social experiment’ a few months ago, watch out for the results soon…), film-making, creative writing, yoga, British Sign Language, cooking, as well as maths and other academics. This is one of the amazing things about my homeschool journey. I’m learning what is important and relevant to my future and that is awesome!

The whole friendship crisis and comparing myself to others and all that trash has died down a lot and I’m starting to feel a lot better about myself and my way of life. This is due to a few different factors:

  • Yoga! Oh my goodness, it makes you think about your life and the world around you in a completely different, more positive way. It’s amazing, seriously.
  • You guys! Yup, for definite. Some of you in particular, you may or may not know who you are. 😉
  • My parents. You might read this, I’m not sure, if you do, I love you. Thank you. xxxxx 🙂
  • Making some new friends in real life, more social interaction and hanging out with some other people my age! This has been really fun and rejuvenating for me.
  • Remembering what I do have and not focusing on the negatives.

So yeah! *thumbs up*

Aside from all our future plans, I have a lot to look forward to! So, remember the spoken word and urban music day that I went to in London? Yes? Well, the theatre invited me back to perform with the rest of the young people at an event at the end of this month!!! It’s, like, a performance that’s open to the public and I’m so excited! I’m getting a solo slot as well. Asdfghjkl. Wish me luck…..I’ll keep you posted.

Also, I am going on a teen home-ed voyage in May! Yep, sailing on the ocean! We learn how to sail a yacht, navigate and all about life on the waves. We also get to see wildlife, as well as a load of beautiful ports and islands along the South West coast of England. It’ll be a real experience and I’m super excited. Usually, this would be really expensive, but there’s a huge discount of homeschooled kids and so we’re making the most of an amazing opportunity.

A while ago my parents wanted to teach me a lesson in motivation, it was just something they thought was important for me to learn. So they thought of something I really wanted to do – go abroad – and made me work to earn my passport. But that’s all in the past now! I have only £7 to get (out of £191) and soon I’ll be going to a different country for the first time in my entire life!

I think that’s about it at the moment! Please get in touch! What are you all doing? Any news? Tell me everything and, as always,  FEEL FREE TO BE HONEST!

 

 

An Aesthetic To Reflect My Identity

What makes me, me? 

Inspired by Lonelymeme’s post, I decided to make an aesthetic to reflect on my own identity.

All of the aspects in this collage represent different parts of who I am – my dreams for the future, my desire for true friendship, my love of writing and books, fire and light, freedom, nature, wanting to change the world.

Now, I challenge you to do the same! Make an aesthetic to share and really think about what makes you, you???