Iridescent and looming
Change
Making my mouth contort into words horrifyingly unlike me
I try to run away while tripping over my own two feet
But like a shadow
It’s always, frustratingly, there
Maybe if I tiptoe
It would be as if I was never here
I could finally get a glimpse
Of sunlight
Pure sunlight
A chance to breathe again
Away from the darkness which already consumed my friends
Away from a shrieking tragedy, begging to enter
An aftertaste
Away from this monster who’s taking my life by the limbs and shaking it furiously
Like a play-thing
I’m unable to wear my crown
The cold envelopes my shaking body, sneaking up on me like the tendrils of early smoke
Taunting me
“You can’t hide anymore, we’re coming for you.”
WIth any remaining strength
I turn towards a dimming light in the hearth
A blossom of a memory
A piece of a younger me
One more naive
But in a flash, it’s gone
Like it was never really there
Were they merely echoes or projections of unparalleled strength?
Then
My heart is shattered glass
Everything turns cold and lonely
Then I’m forced to look
Up
I meet the glacier-blue eyes which strike chords in my mind
Penetrating my every. last. thought.
An unwanted gaze of a black, apathetic, beast
Then in a split second, just a split second
Everything hurts
When I’m forced by this unknown creature
To look inside me
And meddle with a few things.
A warped vision where everything twists and turns
A tremendous fist
Reaches for my soul
The foundation of everything I am
The fist goes right back and adds everything I will be and-
And-
I’m absolutely terrified of this weakness
But then-
But then if everything is doomed, why is everything clearing up
And sunlight piercing through-
Sunlight everywhere
I look at my hands and I feel renewed
I look back and forth, trying to find the beast that had earlier come
But-
But there was no trace of it
Vanished
Like it was never really there
There’s a gentle breeze caressing me, just within reach
My heart skips a beat
Ever so slowly, I open my eyes
And I come back to where I was
Where I’d always been
At my bed, the windows allowing the songs of the suburbs to sneak past, fingers hovering over the dusty keys
Hesitation
The sentence marks an unfinished thought
And I come upon a new thought– and I’m amazed and shocked
I’m different.
Is there a way
That I could’ve been mistaken?
I search through my memory of my past self
Through rose-tinted glasses
And peer at the life of little me
I feel strange
Confused, but calm
No longer can I see this blurry vision of a beast named change
Just
Someone holding their arms out
A patient, yet an austere fortitude
Allowing you
To come forth
Because everyone changes
Over time, these memories get sutured into my ribcage
Soft and warm undying things
That once made up me
Shades of paint, blossoming wholly inside me
Like they’re trying to impress someone
Remnants and flashes softly follow by heart, immortal but
The colors will always be the same
There is emotion caught up amongst my tongue
Holding me back
I breathe and I say
I say-
“Hey… It’s me again.”
And an exhale”
Thanks so much for sticking through, and thanks Gracie!! What do you guys think about change?