Use Our Voices – Spoken Word Poetry Guest Post by Vaishnavi + And A Discussion On CHANGE

Heyy guys,

It’s so important that we as young people stand up and use our voices in whatever ways we can and that we support each other in doing so. I recently discovered that the awesome Vaishnavi at Written In The Stars is a fellow spoken word poet and so when she reached out and asked me about guest posting, I jumped at the chance to share some of her incredible work with you all! I’m going to let her take over now, but before I go there’s just a couple of things I wanna mention…..

1. If there’s something you believe in, speak up about it. Do not be afraid to fight for your future. You may not think you can make a difference and it will definitely not always be easy, but never be scared to take the first small step.
2. If there’s someone else trying to get their voice heard and make a difference, help them and support them in whatever ways you can. We rise by building others up and we are so much more powerful when we work together.
3. Finally, I have so much post inspiration atm ahhhhhhh. Basically don’t be too surprised if my demented ramblings start popping up in your reader rather often haha

Anyway, over to Vaishnavi 🙂

Hi everyone! My name is Vaishnavi, but since it’s a mouthful, you can just think of me as Vaish. Gracie gave me the opportunity to share a poem I wrote to you guys, and I couldn’t be more grateful. she is such a funny, sweet, and overall delightful individual and friend, as you guys already know. This poem was important for me to write because first of all, it was for a prompt (a strong emotion) AND I have to present it. After spending days and days toiling over what to write, this came to me in bits and pieces, and little by little, the pieces of me (and hundreds of other voices) were tumbling out. I hope this poem makes you think about this important factor in our lives~

DA POEM PEEPS (hehe Gracie’s back could you tell? Anyway, enjoy this masterpiece of Vaishnavi’s)

Iridescent and looming

Change

Making my mouth contort into words horrifyingly unlike me

I try to run away while tripping over my own two feet

But like a shadow

It’s always, frustratingly, there

Maybe if I tiptoe

It would be as if I was never here
I could finally get a glimpse

Of sunlight

Pure sunlight

A chance to breathe again

Away from the darkness which already consumed my friends

Away from a shrieking tragedy, begging to enter

An aftertaste

Away from this monster who’s taking my life by the limbs and shaking it furiously

Like a play-thing

I’m unable to wear my crown

The cold envelopes my shaking body, sneaking up on me like the tendrils of early smoke

Taunting me

“You can’t hide anymore, we’re coming for you.”

WIth any remaining strength

I turn towards a dimming light in the hearth

A blossom of a memory

A piece of a younger me

One more naive

But in a flash, it’s gone

Like it was never really there

Were they merely echoes or projections of unparalleled strength?

Then
My heart is shattered glass

Everything turns cold and lonely

Then I’m forced to look

Up

I meet the glacier-blue eyes which strike chords in my mind

Penetrating my every. last. thought.

An unwanted gaze of a black, apathetic, beast

Then in a split second, just a split second

Everything hurts

When I’m forced by this unknown creature

To look inside me

And meddle with a few things.

A warped vision where everything twists and turns

A tremendous fist

Reaches for my soul

The foundation of everything I am

The fist goes right back and adds everything I will be and-

And-

I’m absolutely terrified of this weakness

But then-

But then if everything is doomed, why is everything clearing up
And sunlight piercing through-

Sunlight everywhere

I look at my hands and I feel renewed

I look back and forth, trying to find the beast that had earlier come

But-
But there was no trace of it

Vanished

Like it was never really there

There’s a gentle breeze caressing me, just within reach

My heart skips a beat

Ever so slowly, I open my eyes

And I come back to where I was

Where I’d always been

At my bed, the windows allowing the songs of the suburbs to sneak past, fingers hovering over the dusty keys

Hesitation

The sentence marks an unfinished thought

And I come upon a new thought– and I’m amazed and shocked

I’m different.

Is there a way

That I could’ve been mistaken?

I search through my memory of my past self

Through rose-tinted glasses

And peer at the life of little me

I feel strange

Confused, but calm

No longer can I see this blurry vision of a beast named change

Just

Someone holding their arms out

A patient, yet an austere fortitude

Allowing you

To come forth

Because everyone changes

Over time, these memories get sutured into my ribcage

Soft and warm undying things

That once made up me

Shades of paint, blossoming wholly inside me

Like they’re trying to impress someone

Remnants and flashes softly follow by heart, immortal but

The colors will always be the same

There is emotion caught up amongst my tongue

Holding me back

I breathe and I say

I say-

“Hey… It’s me again.”

And an exhale”

Thanks so much for sticking through, and thanks Gracie!! What do you guys think about change? 

 

(Gracie again) Come on guys, let’s use our voices and have a discussion? What do you think about change? What does it mean to you? 

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#BlueForSudan

*this image is not my own*

Over burning, revolutionary red, today Sudan paints blue,

Though it hurts to hold the paintbrush, they must show the world the truth.

Though the red blood runs in the streets and holds the power in its hands,

They scream for peace, their fists held high,

We say #BlueForSudan

We can’t stop their suffering, but we are not entirely powerless. Use your blog/social media to raise awareness of what’s happening in Sudan and to show them that they are not alone #BlueForSudan #PaintSudanBlue

Empty

Sad eyes on smiling faces. I can’t bear it when I see my friends and other young people of my generation hiding their pain behind this mask of fake confidence and a don’t-care attitude. I’ve seen them cry, I’ve heard them talk and sometimes we don’t see what’s deeper down. So why don’t we all quit hiding and start sharing. Here’s a poem lol 👇

Empty

emptiness.

they say it’s like a blank space.

they say it’s so shallow.

they say it’s a defence,

but what does it replace?

what i want to know is

-honestly –

does it make it better?

or does it just numb the pain?

just for awhile, of course, ’cause we both know it won’t stay away.

 

well, i guess maybe i wouldn’t know ’cause,

i am not the suicide joke,

or the false laughter that follows,

i am your tears as you sob into my shirt,

’cause this is your story

and i ask you ‘why joke about what almost killed you?’

 

that laughter makes me angry.

why, why do you make this into something funny?

all i want is to tell you it will be okay,

don’t be ashamed of your pain.

you’re not empty. you’re not empty.

 

you are made from heart-shaped scars,

deep breathing, panic rising,

you are talking to the stars ‘cause you’re hurting

and they’re the only ones listening.

you are biting your lip and tasting blood and screaming

you are strength because you are tired of feeling weak

this is your story

you are anything but empty.

 

you are made from shattered glass and picking up the pieces

you are made from getting hurt and feeling like you’re worthless

there is ugliness in your pain

but from that truth comes beauty

do not hide behind that mask of empty, empty, empty.

Playground Swings

 

Playground Swings – a poem

**all photo credits to my sister**

silence
a child’s cry
they both call me to this place of familiarity
at different times
I think it’s
the security of a soft landing
the comfort of children playing
the simplicity of just saying
or
or it’s the lonely poeticness of a playground when it’s empty,
the cold, quiet paradox of a place like this in silence.
and something about the way
I can always smile here

thinking out loud on playground swings,
these creaking chains are the only ones that will ever set me free,
and yet still I’m trapped,
torn back down to earth
by the limits of my wings,
I want to fly higher
and I will
never quite knowing
stomach lurching
you will catch me when I’m falling
right?

Hood up
pulled over my face like a shadow
legs stretched to the sky
lips and mind searching for the ‘why’
in everything

my fingers are getting cold
kinda slipping
letting go
I’ve been here too long
nostalgia
memories burn holes
in your pocket
matches set fire to the past
then watch as flames destroy souls
and poetry is composed
and the future is all they leave us
covered in ash
so close and yet so far away

the wind blows in my face
just reminding me of its power
I rise and fall like the waves
and I can do nothing
yet I still strike out for the shore
and swim
but sometimes I am torn between
the devil and the deep blue sea
and sometimes
the mystery of the horizon
is too beautiful
and I fill the ocean with my tears
whilst the tide takes me
and I have to decide whether to fight
or to let go.

but I am stronger
I am stronger
than anyone knows
and I will sing a song
my song
and people will hear me
and they will lean over the fence and listen
and I will be a child on a playground swing again

{Messin’ With A Camera and Some Words}

I’ve taken some kinda aesthetic photos recently. Not a photographer, but I like messing around with my phone camera so yeah, guys, enjoy…

I tell the sunset that I miss you. I tell it how my heart aches and how, if the blue of the sky was a little deeper, it could be an upside-down ocean.

 

~sparkler wizard in his element~

What the mirror sees is what I forget – wild hair and cowgirl jeans. Bracelets up one arm, a metallic road spanning bruised skin stretched over muscle, swimmer’s muscle. Swimmer’s bruises. This is me. 

Fire and noise call me from afar. The drums feel like a revolution. There are crowds, but all I see are hands, tucked in pockets, reaching for the sky, for the fireworks that explode above their heads, just out of reach. Beautiful, but fleeting and no one’s to keep. There’s smoke, but all I see are flames, leaping through the air towards me. They call me, set my soul on fire. There’s sparks that burn my heart and it….it makes me feel alive.

Cars pass like moments, seconds even. Things we wanted to say, but….never did. Times when we turned our unspoken words into sighs….wrote the text message, but deleted it before we pressed send. Talked to the stars. Hid our feelings in metaphors and rhymes. I’m guilty. Another car past.

Stop! Don’t run into the fire, don’t burn, don’t follow the crowd, don’t be hypnotised by the flames, listen to my warning in the dark. Please.

“Mummy, the sky’s on fire.” 

I like talking to the sky. I tell it how I feel and then that I don’t know what to feel. I tell it that I don’t know what to say and it listens. I sing in the car because it makes me feel powerful. Just like when I’m in the water, I feel like I’m on top of the world, but I’m not. I feel the light above me and I fight my way up. 

Shadows And Promises

There are shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that were only ever made.
Not kept.

Waves come crawling back to the shore,
On their hands and knees and full of remorse,
They can’t go back.
Not any more.

One day, people will wake up and open their eyes,
Hollowness will fill up and chemistry will override,
And life will go on.

Maybe we’ll stop doing things whilst not really knowing why,
Stop sitting in the dark and spark a fire.
Maybe we’ll set light to our hearts and learn how to truly love.
Maybe…

And I’ll look out for you because, for a reason I don’t even know,
the perfect, hazy memory of you fills my soul.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

I think of all the nights I’ll cry
because I don’t have the answer,
or the reason why.
And that destroys me.

I dream of shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that are only made,
Never kept.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

~Goodbye, Carefree Summer~

Goodbye, carefree summer. You’re nearly gone now. I can still smell you in the wood smoke on my t-shirts though, hear you echoing in the laughter of my friends and feel you in the wind against my face, it’s much colder now. I miss you already.

I said my goodbyes in style. The water was freezing, but it was worth it….I let go, I went wild, I celebrated your legacy all the carefree spirit that’s inside me.

~Goodbye, Carefree Summer~

❤

It’s true – happiness comes in waves.

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf…(which is what I fully intend to do)

The ocean is everything I want to be; mysterious, beautiful, wild and free.

Make waves, my friend 😉 

And now I’m ready. Ready for autumn and it’s untamed beauty. Ready for its fiery chill and crisp embrace. Come at me. I’m ready.

 

~the ocean + me~

I honestly think that I have saltwater for blood, the rhythm of the tides for a heartbeat and the dance of the waves in my soul. There is never a moment when I am not wishing I was at sea.

I have an obsession – with the ocean.

I want to share this piece that I wrote as part of my application to a spoken word programme in London. I haven’t heard if I got in yet, but I’ll be sure to let you all know. Anyway, I believe it captures exactly how I feel about the ocean.

Ode To The Ocean 

You fill my empty solitude with salt and spray and sea,
The never-ending water and footprints on the beach,
Your rise and fall and ups and downs,
You’ve showed me all my dreams,
And thanks to you, I know exactly who I want to be.

The sense of freedom and of flying,
The immortal fantasy of never, ever dying,
Just gliding through the waves forever and eternity,
Ecstatically content and exactly where I want to be.

The mystery of your rugged beauty chained to age-old rhythm,
An ever-changing surface with no predictable pattern,
And far below that, in your depths, are things we’ll never see,
Wild waters that are both forever trapped and forever free.

You sure know how to transform yourself into a masterpiece,
Stunning sunsets, vivid colours melting into your blues and greens,
Epic storms that summon the winds from all edges of the seas,
Black skies, lightning strikes, moonlit clouds sitting on the breeze.

Your waves they tumble and they crash,
Then they rise again from the ash
Like life’s one, constant motion,
Like a phoenix from the flames – the motion can’t be broken.

The wind in my sails and the waves beneath me come from you,
This feeling inside me tells me what I need to do,
And it tells me just where I need to be.
With you, where I belong, out at sea.

Here’s an audio of me performing it – https://youtu.be/hwBGzQWqt3s

We’re moving into our new truck very soon (super excited about that) and I’ve been decorating my bed. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to having my own room and I’m putting a lot of effort into making it look aesthetic. It’s really just a reflection of me and who I am, but my main theme is the ocean. I’ve printed out tons of photos, quotes, lyrics and poetry about sailing, waves, tides, beaches and the sea – as well as making my own ocean neon sign! I haven’t got a photo of it finished, but here’s one of it half done.

It now has a big swirly wave underneath 🌊

Another thing about the ocean is all the memories it holds for me. The best days of my life have been spent in its company. It’s given me a purpose. I’ve met some of my best friends thanks to it. Ocean = sailing = 😍😍😍

That was a kinda random post about the ocean + me. Hope you enjoyed!

 

Me At The Moment (In Quotes, Lyrics and Aesthetics)

 

 

Love,

Me at the moment xxx

 

 

 

Wish Me Luck – Spoken Word Poetry Performance Update

Hello there!

In my recent post I talked about an urban music and spoken word poetry performance I am going to be a part of very soon. Well, I’m here with an update on that!

• The performance is on Thursday and I am SO excited.
• I went to London for the rehearsals last week and it was AMAZINGGGGG!
• I have two solos.
• I am performing two very poignant, topical spoken word pieces written by yours truly.
• At the rehearsal I spent a hardcore one and a half hours with a spoken word poet learning everything you need to know about performing.
• I spent another hour running through the whole thing with the rest of the group who are sharing all different genres of music, but all with an urban twist – rap, acapella, reggae, etc.
• I am basically the complete polar opposite of the word urban #countrygirrrrl so I went to the rehearsals in my wellies. Picture below!

Stay tuned for photos of the actual performance coming soon! Oh, and wish me luck, my friends! *dances* *practices like crazyyyyy*