A Teenage Perspective: Q&A Collab With Erin @KittyJadeBlog

Hey there people,

Today I bring you a Q&A collab with Erin from KittyJadeBlog. We’ll both be sharing our experiences, opinions and thoughts on the world around us, all from a teenage perspective. To read my answers to Erin’s questions, head over to her blog– be sure to follow, she’s a talented writer and her posts always give me something to think about.

What do you believe are the biggest challenges facing young people in our society?

I know from experience that comparison is one of them. Just looking through your best friend’s story on Snapchat can trigger a certain nerve in your brain that says ‘I wish I was having a day out with my friends’ or ‘I wish I looked as good as her’ etc. Instagram also does this, but you have got to think: would you post a selfie of yourself when you are having a really bad day? Would you not edit your photo before you post it? No one is perfect, no one is not insecure about something (external or internal) and if they did love every bit of themselves every day – they would be vain.

This is very clichè but: when you are happy this won’t matter. Consider your feelings over your body. This is how you are made and you can’t change things (without spending loads of money) about the skin and bone. Maybe take a break from the mirror, the selfie camera, and see the difference.

What do you find most frustrating about the society we live in?

At the moment I am at an age where either you are mature, sensible and hardworking or time-wasting, immature and foolish. I know where I kind of fit in. I go to school and I see people in my form wasting their education because they ‘can’t be bothered’. They are ungrateful for this free education that they have and never considering someone who doesn’t have an education and wants one. So my main frustration is ungratefulness. It is hypocritical of me to say that but if we could change the importance of money and put happiness there instead I think that people would be more grateful. Young people don’t work as much to live nowadays (in certain countries, like England for example) and obviously you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

If I could change one thing, it would be to get people bothering again – rather than can’t be bothered.

What are your plans for the future?

I have only ever been to two continents (Europe and America) so one big thing of my ‘bucket’ list would be to travel and try to explore every continent of the world. In my near future is university. I would like to study politics and English but I’m not sure what the outcome of that would be. Art is another thing that would be an option I could potentially succeed in but the subject would be a hobby, not a career choice. Or maybe it will. I don’t like to plan too far ahead; it will kick me in the butt.

Tell us something you have read/experienced/heard about that has changed the way you have lived your life?

Over the years of my life, many things have influenced me and had a great impression on me. I do not think I could narrow it down to one thing. People obviously play a big part in all of our lives and my biggest influence is the one thing I have grown up with: school. I am so super grateful that I have the opportunity for a free education at the moment and I appreciate the influences that it has on me: so many experiences available, so many people I can see and good and bad influences clearly separated.

If the whole world was listening to you for a couple of minutes and you had their full attention, what would you say?

I love this question. Despite having this great opportunity, I would probably be speechless. There are so many different people in the world and I would want to offend anyone – so I’d probably stay silent. Maybe an awkward ‘hello’? Probably just a smile.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out Erin’s blog to read my answers to her questions.

Now, tell us your thoughts! Discussions welcome in the comments section down below. We wanna hear your answers…from your perspective….

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Playground Swings

 

Playground Swings – a poem

**all photo credits to my sister**

silence
a child’s cry
they both call me to this place of familiarity
at different times
I think it’s
the security of a soft landing
the comfort of children playing
the simplicity of just saying
or
or it’s the lonely poeticness of a playground when it’s empty,
the cold, quiet paradox of a place like this in silence.
and something about the way
I can always smile here

thinking out loud on playground swings,
these creaking chains are the only ones that will ever set me free,
and yet still I’m trapped,
torn back down to earth
by the limits of my wings,
I want to fly higher
and I will
never quite knowing
stomach lurching
you will catch me when I’m falling
right?

Hood up
pulled over my face like a shadow
legs stretched to the sky
lips and mind searching for the ‘why’
in everything

my fingers are getting cold
kinda slipping
letting go
I’ve been here too long
nostalgia
memories burn holes
in your pocket
matches set fire to the past
then watch as flames destroy souls
and poetry is composed
and the future is all they leave us
covered in ash
so close and yet so far away

the wind blows in my face
just reminding me of its power
I rise and fall like the waves
and I can do nothing
yet I still strike out for the shore
and swim
but sometimes I am torn between
the devil and the deep blue sea
and sometimes
the mystery of the horizon
is too beautiful
and I fill the ocean with my tears
whilst the tide takes me
and I have to decide whether to fight
or to let go.

but I am stronger
I am stronger
than anyone knows
and I will sing a song
my song
and people will hear me
and they will lean over the fence and listen
and I will be a child on a playground swing again

{Messin’ With A Camera and Some Words}

I’ve taken some kinda aesthetic photos recently. Not a photographer, but I like messing around with my phone camera so yeah, guys, enjoy…

I tell the sunset that I miss you. I tell it how my heart aches and how, if the blue of the sky was a little deeper, it could be an upside-down ocean.

 

~sparkler wizard in his element~

What the mirror sees is what I forget – wild hair and cowgirl jeans. Bracelets up one arm, a metallic road spanning bruised skin stretched over muscle, swimmer’s muscle. Swimmer’s bruises. This is me. 

Fire and noise call me from afar. The drums feel like a revolution. There are crowds, but all I see are hands, tucked in pockets, reaching for the sky, for the fireworks that explode above their heads, just out of reach. Beautiful, but fleeting and no one’s to keep. There’s smoke, but all I see are flames, leaping through the air towards me. They call me, set my soul on fire. There’s sparks that burn my heart and it….it makes me feel alive.

Cars pass like moments, seconds even. Things we wanted to say, but….never did. Times when we turned our unspoken words into sighs….wrote the text message, but deleted it before we pressed send. Talked to the stars. Hid our feelings in metaphors and rhymes. I’m guilty. Another car past.

Stop! Don’t run into the fire, don’t burn, don’t follow the crowd, don’t be hypnotised by the flames, listen to my warning in the dark. Please.

“Mummy, the sky’s on fire.” 

I like talking to the sky. I tell it how I feel and then that I don’t know what to feel. I tell it that I don’t know what to say and it listens. I sing in the car because it makes me feel powerful. Just like when I’m in the water, I feel like I’m on top of the world, but I’m not. I feel the light above me and I fight my way up. 

Shadows And Promises

There are shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that were only ever made.
Not kept.

Waves come crawling back to the shore,
On their hands and knees and full of remorse,
They can’t go back.
Not any more.

One day, people will wake up and open their eyes,
Hollowness will fill up and chemistry will override,
And life will go on.

Maybe we’ll stop doing things whilst not really knowing why,
Stop sitting in the dark and spark a fire.
Maybe we’ll set light to our hearts and learn how to truly love.
Maybe…

And I’ll look out for you because, for a reason I don’t even know,
the perfect, hazy memory of you fills my soul.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

I think of all the nights I’ll cry
because I don’t have the answer,
or the reason why.
And that destroys me.

I dream of shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that are only made,
Never kept.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

On Friendships, Being Different and The Future…

*Note: not attacking/blaming anyone here. These are just my own opinions. If you disagree feel free to say so and we can discuss it 🙂* 

My little sister came home crying today because she feels so different to all of her friends, she feels like she doesn’t fit in. Truth is, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even want to. 

I walk past and see her standing there surrounded by her entire peer group. They’re all around her – singing stupid songs, doing silly things and talking about TV shows and movies she has no interest in. I catch her eye. She looks so sad and alone.

Later, back at home, she’s pretty upset. “Why can’t my friends be normal?” she asks me. Her perception of normal makes me smile. “They are normal” I tell her “It’s you who’s different.”

She doesn’t want to fit in with them, to be the same, to wear the same type of clothes, to talk the same kind of rubbish – she just wants her friends to be themselves,  to have fun and not care about being ‘cool’ and fitting in. She just wants them to see what’s good and important, to realise that what they’re watching, listening to and basing their small-minded lives around is nonsense. No one ever did anything notable by being like everyone else.

Look, I understand how hard it is to escape from. This stuff is all around us. Our own society is telling us how to think and act, but our whole future is at stake here!

I understand my sister’s struggle. It’s kinda like there’s something that sets us apart. Like our eyes are opened.  Like for some reason we can see the stupidity and danger in following the crowd. I listen to the rubbish some of my own friends and I feel like screaming at them “wake up! Is this how you want to spend your life??!?!”

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually even likes this stuff – TV shows, music, internet trends and crazes? Maybe everyone is only obsessed because with it because it’s popular and they think they’ll be left out if they don’t join in with the hype?  Wouldn’t it be cool if one person was like ‘guys, what’re we doing? This is seriously so bad!’ and everyone else admitted they never liked it either?! There’s always got to be a first one, right?!

When I talk to my friends one-on-one we have the BEST conversations. Sure, they’re often a bit crazy, but that’s okay. We talk about our dreams and hopes and our struggles and things we’ve done and learnt. How we feel and things that have made us laugh or smile. We talk about memories and stories and things we’re scared of. Things that make us happy, things that make us sad. Very rarely do I have these conversations when there’s a big group of us. Everyone’s so worried about being popular and liked and fitting in that the conversation always turns back to the same old nonsense. ‘Here we go again.” I think, without enthusiasm. I either roll my eyes and zone out – or listen, get all worked up and offend someone. Oops! 😂

If you’ve known me or have been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know how much I’ve struggled with friendships. It hasn’t been easy for me to avoid peer-pressure. In fact, I’ve probably succumbed to it more than I’d care to admit when things were really tough. I’ve found it so hard to find anyone like me and by ‘like me’ I don’t really mean into the same stuff – I mean not afraid to be themselves and be an individual.

I remember this one day when I just had to let it all go. Holding in the words was suffocating me and I needed to breathe. I wrote this whole long piece, but this was what stood out to me the most when I say back and read through it  at the end:

Do you ever know for certain that you’re not like them or like them or them or them or them? 
but you wonder who you are like?
And you wonder if you’ll ever find anyone like you?

This is why I’m so grateful for the friends I keep in touch with online. They are what real friendship looks like. Blogging friends, friends I’ve met sailing, friends I don’t see often enough, but talk to via email. I’m so lucky and happy with the friends I have in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

So yeah, I’m worried. I’m worried about the future of our world in the hands of this next generation – my generation. We’re lost and the only thing we have to guide us is the negative influences of our society. You see the sickening results of it all around you – mental health, suicide rates, kids nearly losing their lives after jumping out of cars for some new internet trend. Need I say more?

It’s crazy. It’s tragic. And it has to stop. If you’re with me, let me know. It’s not easy for any if of us, but we can do this together, okay 👌❤️

Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

There is so much negativity building up at the moment. Within families, within communities, within society, within humanity as a whole. These things, these things that are the pillars of our world – they’re breaking down, being replaced.

It’s a massive challenge as anyone really, but particularly teenagers, to grow up in this world. It’s so essential that we, as the future, hold on to what is important. Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

This is a huge struggle, but I’m trying to make the decision to understand and believe in these things.

Soooo, that was the thought of the day! If you guys have any comments on that please do let me know.

Now, I’m going to do like a mini update/catch up thingy with everything I need to tell you all. There’s quite a bit!

  • The amazing Bri has just started blogging again after a couple of months. This is such good news. Please go check out her blog and introduce yourself, it’d mean the world to her.
  • I’m participating in Hannah’s photography contest! No, I am not a photographer, but I wanted to try something new and Hannah is just the sweetest, loveliest person.
  • Remember the social experiment a load of you helped me out with a couple of months ago? Well, I’ve nearly finished putting together all my results and I’ll be sharing them on here very soon. Stay tuned.
  • I’m staying at my Nan’s at the moment looking after her as she just has a knee replacement. She’s doing really well as she’s super determined. She ALWAYS reads my blog so please give her a quick ‘get well soon’ in the comments. She’d be thrilled. 😀
  • I’m going to be doing a ‘day in the life of me’ post soon. So I’m quite excited ’bout that. Also, I’m thinking maybe a little Q and A sesh maybe?
  • I think that’s it??????

What was your thought for today? Tell me all your news! Are you excited for all my future plans on this blog? Lemme know….

Wish Me Luck – Spoken Word Poetry Performance Update

Hello there!

In my recent post I talked about an urban music and spoken word poetry performance I am going to be a part of very soon. Well, I’m here with an update on that!

  • The performance is on Thursday and I am SO excited.
  • I went to London for the rehearsals last week and it was AMAZINGGGGG!
  • I have two solos.
  • I am performing two very poignant, topical spoken word pieces written by yours truly.
  • At the rehearsal I spent a hardcore one and a half hours with a spoken word poet learning everything you need to know about performing.
  • I spent another hour running through the whole thing with the rest of the group who are sharing all different genres of music, but all with an urban twist – rap, acapella, reggae, etc.
  • I am basically the complete polar opposite of the word urban #countrygirrrrl so I went to the rehearsals in my wellies. Picture below!

Stay tuned for photos of the actual performance coming soon! Oh, and wish me luck, my friends! *dances* *practices like crazyyyyy* 

 

Writing Competition Hosted By Gracie and Gracie: The RESULTS

The time has come to announce the winners of the writing contest hosted by my friend Gracie Marchiani and myself. I won’t keep you in suspense for too long, but before you become tempted to scroll down and skip this part of the post, I must stress that it is very important, okay?

Right, firstly Gracie and I would like to thank every one of you who entered this competition and contributed a story of your own crafting. You guys are AMAZING writers and we had such a hard time choosing between all of your entries. So, you may all take a bow. *applause*

Originally, we had planned on picking just one overall winner, but a number of factors made us decide to change our minds and award 1st, 2nd and 3rd places. Reason #1. We couldn’t choose just one winner. Reason #2. We know how busy everyone is and we thought that one winner critiquing everyone’s entries would be a liiiiittle overwhelming. So now each winner gets a few stories to give feedback on. Okay?

If you are a winner – I know, I know, the suspense is killing me too – pleaseemailusstraightawaytocollectyourprize,okay?

Phewf, let’s get on with it.

Third prize goes to……

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Emmie from Pheonix American Girl World with her story Ghosts At Sunset Lake!!!

Emmie, we loved your story so much. It was beautifully written and you weaved the prompts insanely well. Congratulations! Please get in touch with us to recieve your prize. Your story ill be posted on both mine and Gracie’s blog within the next few days.

Second Prize is for….

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Emily from The Island Of Me with her story ‘Gone’!!!

Emily, your piece was hauntingly beautiful and deeply thought-provoking. Congrats, girl! You totally deserve your prize, get in touch to claim it. ‘Gone’ will be posted on both Through The Eyes Of Gracie and A Light In The Darkness within the next few days.

And finally, the prestigious prize for first place will be awarded to…..

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Andrea from Spaceships, Vampires and Very Secret Agents with her story ‘Flames’!

ASDFGHJKL, Andrea, we looooooooved your story sooooooo much. It was absolutely amazingly written, your descriptions were beautiful, the drama was intense and you wove the prompts wonderfully. Congratulations! Go get your prize, my friend! Flames will be posted on mine and Gracie’s blog within the next few days.

Massive well done to everyone who won and everyone who entered and YOU, for reading this!

Nothing More Than A Ghost – A Poem

His breaths laboured and laced with pain.
Her breaths as soft as summer rain.

His body slumped, holding in all the grief,
Her body floating, her touch cool and brief.

His eyes wide and unseeing, tears overspilling,
Her eyes deep and longing, her gentle gaze chilling.

His arms wrapped around his torso, holding everything in,
Her arms limp and lifeless, for onto life does she no longer cling.

His fingers curled around a photograph of her,
Her fingers lightly brushing away all the things that were.

His voice calling out her sweet name.
Her voice echoing his stricken pain.

His thoughts searching through memories of them both,
Her being nothing more than a ghost.

  Nearly myself cry writing this! Hope you guys are all okay. Xxx

Light – A Prose-y Thing That I’m Particularly Proud Of + A Reflection Of Society

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Sooooo, I haven’t shared any of my poetry in ages and so today I’ve decided to share a sort of prose-y piece that could be classed as a very long poem or a very short story written in stanzas (sorry, I’m indecisive) that I’m particularly proud of. As always, all feedback appreciated. I love to hear from fellow poets, writers or even just people who enjoy to listen and read. Oh, and while I remember, you have until the 27th of Feb to enter Gracie M and I’s writing contest. Click HERE to read all about it!

Writing this poem was a bit of an exploratory journey for me. It took into a world of metaphors and philosophy. It taught me to travel beyond the surface. I hope it takes you guys on the same journey. Loads of love to ya all as always!

Light by Gracie Chick 

Light.

On or off? I caress the switch with my fingertips, my mind racing, my head feeling like it’s about to explode, my thoughts and insecurities chasing each other in a fast-paced, never-ending, time-bomb ticking circle. On and on and on. All night. I can’t sleep.

Light.

“Please keep burning, please don’t go out. You are my only hope…” I murmur into the candle flame, my fingers hovered over its warmth. “….for I am so afraid of what the darkness holds.” I can’t sleep for I am too scared. And cold.

Light.

The only light I know is the one that shines from my iphone screen. The only beauty I know is the one that proclaims and aims for perfection, perfect body, perfect, perfect, perfect. #perfect. I must be perfect.

 

Light.

The only light I know is the one that keeps me warm at night and drives the dark away. The only beauty I know is the dance within its flames.

Light.

I switch you on. You hurt my eyes. You do nothing to soothe my pain.

Light.

I rely on you. You are my saviour in the darkest times.

 

Light.

What are you? I learned all about you in science class and then again in RE. Two very different definitions. The light of the sun or the light of Christ?  Do you go deeper than that? Do you fill the cracks of the earth? Pierce the surface? Reach the most remote parts? Could you penetrate my life?

 

Light.

You are the only thing that keeps me going. I am grateful for your presence. I don’t know what it is about you, but I’ve sworn never to question you. So you are here and I am happy.

 

Light.

Could you touch me? Touch the darkest parts of my soul, the parts where the darkness flooded in and I tried to stop it, but it it filled the empty voids quicker than the speed of light, oozing in to suffocate my screams. So now I stay silent, drowning in sickly, sweet black, black treacle.

 

Light.

You are my halo. You are my security. You are the only thing keeping me afloat. Without you, I would burn into the ashes of hope, sink below any sort of horizon, redemption.

Light.

I’ve thought about it and I think maybe the grey is worse than the dark. The dark can be lit up with sunbeams, if you try hard enough, but the it’s the grey you really get lost in.

Light.

I’ve thought about it and maybe the reason why you and I go so well together is because both of our lives are battles. Mine a constant fight to stay above the surface, to float by with ease, staring at the sun in the sky, not looking down, ignoring my feet thrashing in the water, keeping myself afloat, keeping myself alive. Your’s is a simple fight, yet one that can never fully be won, you have one enemy and one enemy only….is the light afraid of the dark?

Light.

Greyness. It’s like paint, isn’t it? You hold a brush between your fingertips, trailing it alternately through white. Black. White. Black. White. You watch as the colours merge, your life becoming a blur between them.

Light. Dark. Light. Dark. Light. Dark. Light. Fine, grey. Light. Grey. Light. Grey. Light. Okay, okay, Light. Light. Light.

Light.

Please show us your triumph, your strength, please use us to change the world, despite our weaknesses.

Light.

So you have won this battle at least. You have drained the darkness from my heart, but your word is but a promise. Please keep it.

Yours truly,

Hope

Yours truly,

Modern Society.