Letters To The People Who Mean The Most To Me AKA Me Being Poetic and Sharing Stories I Think Are Funny

I’ll admit it – I’m a little nervous to post these. Most of the people that these letters (which are all extremely heartfelt and honest, btw) are addressed to read this blog and some of these are words I’ve never said to them before. I’m half expecting a flurry of messages telling me to ‘be less cringey omg’ or ‘I actually never said that’ or ‘I thought you were over it’ after this post because, although I’m keeping it completely anonymous (you’ll never guess who mwhahah) if one of these letters is to you I’m pretty sure you’re gonna know about it lol.

So anyway I’m lowkey scared that y’all (can I say y’all?? I’m British it doesn’t work like that round here lol)…ahem, as I was saying I’m kinda scared you guys are gonna think I’m a tad dramatic after this post, but that’s fine ’cause I’m a writer and it comes with the job 🙂 

Before I launch straight into this (who am I kidding I’ve already rambled for ages), I’d just like to say that this is a Close Friends Edition. I’m thinking of doing a family and family friends post too at some point in the near future. Also, having the right people in your life is so important and although I’ve struggled with the whole friendship thing and finding people who actually ‘get me’, I’ve been prettyyy lucky.

Here goes me being poetic and sharing stories that are only funny to like me and one other person, but enjoy! Note: these are in a totally randomised order 🙂

A

You say you don’t have a poetic bone in your body, but tbh I’m convinced that every single part of you is poetry. The way you smile, the way you’re broken but every fiber in your body just wants others to feel less alone, just in the way every word you write touches my heart and makes me breathless for a moment, the way you can always make me laugh.

Our friendship is being there for each other through absolutely everything, when you’re at your lowest you know you can reach for me because I will love you no matter what, and that will never change. It’s you I text the minute something exciting happens or when I’m close to crying on the floor because I can’t do this anymore. You’ve helped bring me through so much and you’re not afraid to tell me what’s best for me, even if it’s not always what I want to hear haha.

I’m so incredibly proud of you just for being who you are and I appreciate you so much. Keep laughing, keep smiling, keep writing and being the beautiful person that you are. Most of all, never give up on the world and never doubt yourself because you have SO much to give.

I’m always going to be a little jealous of how effortlessly aesthetic you are (ummm how??? teach me your secrets mwhahahaha), but despite of that, I love you and one day we WILL travel the world together and see amazing places and meet cool people and fix the broken pieces of the world and write poetry all day ❤

Be

Apparently I wrestled you to the ground the first time we met. We were five years old. We’ve grown up together and even though everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has shipped us since day one, we both know we’ll never be anything more than best mates.

Yeah, you’re annoying as anything most of the time, but again, it’s just because I know you too well. There’s too many memories to count. Putting my coat on and coming out in the pouring rain to keep you company when you had to litter pick after school for hours, that entire magazine we wrote and illustrated when we eleven, me and T terrifying you when we chased you through the woods that night and you didn’t know who we were (we never let you live that one down), countless camp outs, the time we drank champagne at that party and you spat yours everywhere,  you swimming in the river in your underwear (not as weird as it sounds I promise) and me trying to pretend I didn’t know you when people stopped and laughed, building tree houses, the fact that we’re so evenly matched that whenever we have a wrestling match neither of us can ever win, arguing about music, all the stupid inside jokes and the banter, the time we ran six miles on the hottest day of the year and both nearly threw up, the long walks where it was just the two of us and we’d talk about anything – politics, religion, our plans for the future, sport.

There’s the sad memories too. How hard you found it to fit into your new school. How much you struggled. How much you hated it. I haven’t forgotten that. We’ve fallen out a few times over our differences and I kinda wish we were as close as we used to be, but you’re a typical teenage boy now and you’re more interested in video games and your school friends than playing in the mud.

And that’s fine. I’ve moved on too. I guess this letter is bittersweet for me. I guess it’s kind of a goodbye because I know in my heart that we’ll never be the same as we were when we were kids. Just remember, I care about you and if you ever need me, you know where I am.

(I’m laughing in my head rn because I know if you read this and know that it’s for you, I’ll never hear the end of it and I’ll get told off for being so ‘cringey’ ahaha)

T

Where do I even start with you? We’ve spent so much of our lives together, every single part of ourselves intertwined. We fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw, I know your every curve and edge. That comes from days spent in the sun, long walks where we’d tell each other everything, staying up until 2am and then setting our alarms to get up and watch the sunrise, but sleeping through them and being woken up mid morning by little sisters, making pancakes on the fire, singing together long into the night on warm summer evenings. Your voice has always been so beautiful, but you still let me join in even though mine is nothing compared to yours.

It comes from sitting on swings and talking about people we used to know. Poetry. Words that we like. What we’ll do in the future. What people have said to us. What we said to them. From hugging each other tight when one of us had to leave, from not wanting to ever be apart.

The inside jokes between us are actually insane. There’s pretty much an entire dictionary of words (mostly made up by you) that only we understand. A sentence that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else makes perfect sense between us. I don’t even know why…..it just does.

You’ve rested your head on my shoulder and told me about every insecurity you have about yourself and I have loved every broken piece of you just the same. We’ve argued many times, but it’s only because we’re both such strong-willed, opinionated people and because we know our friendship is strong enough to withstand it.

There have been times when we haven’t seen each other in months and yet we can pick up straight where we left off like nothing happened. You are honestly like family to me and I love you with all of my heart and always will (though you do annoy the hell out of me sometimes haha) It’s only because I know you too well.

Like when I post poems on my blog and am purposefully vague about who they’re about/for and you persistently text me until I tell you. We can’t keep secrets can we?

We’re not as close as we were, that’s for sure, but I love you with everything within me and I always will, you crazy wildchild ❤

H

You are actually the literal definition of a best friend – someone I can be so weird and crazy with and scream incoherently at, but also the person I can pour my heart out to, the person who will listen to me ramble on about life and not once complain, the person who I can have the deepest and most honest conversations with, the person who just gets me.

You are quite honestly the most stunning girl ever (inside and out) and I know you struggle sometimes, but you’ve gotta promise me that you will ALWAYS keep that beautiful smile on your face because I don’t know what I’d do without it (and obvs keep sending me all the pics you sneakily take of cute boys it’s very entertaining ahaha)

One day you and me and A are just gonna leave everything behind and disappear into the sunset and attempt to write novels and make crazy videos and change the world.

I love you honestly more than I can say. So. Much. Love.

L

Every day you show me that we as a generation are so powerful. I am incredibly proud to be just a teeny tiny part of what you are doing to empower young people and change the world.

I’ve watched you as an individual and your project, tC, grow over the years and have been on the receiving end of so many excited messages about awards you’ve been nominated for or influential people who’ve supported what you’re doing. I honestly couldn’t be prouder of you and everything you’ve achieved.

On top of that you are just the most smiley, positive, motivated and caring person that there is.

Ilysm and you have such a brilliant future ahead of you! In a world that’s so full of negativity, you have turned your desire for change into something empowering and a force for good and that is absolutely incredible (also did I mention how inspiring you are?? Asfgjklgjkll)

O

You were there when I first discovered my love of the ocean and of sailing and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have shared that first experience with. You already knew, it was part of who you are since forever, but it was all new to me and I completely fell in love with it.

Ah man, remember when no one knew your name for the first few days of the voyage because whenever someone asked you, you’d say something different? Remember when the others from the boat decided to follow us and we led them on that huge long walk right round the whole town? We were laughing our asses off whilst they puffed and panted up hill after hill and decided that shadowing us wasn’t such a great idea after all.

You were there when I saw dolphins for the first time. When I first came to know that this was what I wanted to do with my life. Sheesh, those are some good memories.

We haven’t seen each other for so long, but it’s still me you text when you’re going through tough times because you know I’ll always be there for you. And mate, you’ve been through some hard times recently and it’s broken my heart to think of that smile not being there on your face anymore. You’ve gotta keep going, mate, because you are truly the definition of awesome.

You don’t care what people think, you’re funny, you’re super cool –  that will never be taken away from you (not on my watch anyway, okay bruh)

I don’t tell you this nearly as often as I should, but you’re one of my best mates and I appreciate just being able to rant to you about whatever and trade sailing stories and I’m looking forward to the day you FINALLY teach me to surf asdfghjlll 🙂

Aq

Every time I talk to you I just want to shake you and make you see how amazing you are *shakey shakey* *starts dancing for no apparent reason* Anyway, you’re the crazy smart one who works so hard for her future, quiet until you get to know her, cares so much about everyone and everything kinda girl.

Your laugh is officially my favourite sound in the world and I can stay on facetime with you for hours just to hear it over and over again because the sound of your joy is the most beautiful thing.

I wish I could give you the confidence just to go out into the world and be who you are because the world needs more people just like you, but I understand that it doesn’t come naturally to you. You’re taking small steps and I’m so proud of you for that.

Your music, your art, your poetry, they are all pieces of you, fragments of your brokenness that you’re trying to put back together and I want you to know how beautiful it all is.

Thank you for being there for me and always giving me such great advice and you know I’ll always do the same for you. So much love and massive hugs xxx

R

We’re both on a quest to find our place in the world and find out how we can make a difference. We’ve both felt that hopelessness that comes from not knowing what we can do to heal the pain and suffering in the world and we both know the struggle of being someone who cares too much for their own good. I’m so glad I get to share this journey with you, so glad that you’re always by my side (figuratively).

You’re always there to catch me when I’m falling. Always there to be the ultimate Mum friend (especially since you call everyone babe) and share some of that wisdom you seem to have so much of. You’ve guided me through a lot and I don’t think you’ll ever know how much I appreciate that.

So many of my favourite artists and songs have been recommended by you and I now listen to them on repeat and am so happy that I have someone to fangirl with! You’ve always been so supportive of my family and whatever crazy adventure we’re on and you have pretty a beautiful, strong family too (who also happen to be pretty darn adorable). Hehe d’you think we’ll ever get tired of exchanging cute photos/stories of younger siblings?

I have so much fun picking apart and comparing poetry with you, sharing ideas for novels we’ll never write and trying to guess what colour you’ve dyed your hair this time.

Our friendship goes so deep and I honestly love you so much. Thank you for everything. I mean that.

M

When Mum first introduced me to you I was in festival mode. Mum was like ‘you gotta come meet this girl! She’s the same age as you and she loves sailing too!’ So I rocked up on the doorstep of your yurt with my barefeet, baggy T-shirt and windswept hair and….didn’t come out for hours. Boy, can we talk!

Since then we have bonded over our love of avocados, dinghy sailing, the great outdoors, home education, tahini, old rock music, greeting people with the phrase ‘heya’, and dark chocolate. Even now on the phone, we can talk for literally HOURS even though I’m pretty sure there’s not one topic that we haven’t covered.

I am yet to persuade you to come ‘big boat’ sailing with me because you don’t fancy the idea of wearing waterproof overalls that will mask any kind of fashionable outfit or getting less sleep than you’re used to, but I will persevere and you WILL come with me one day ahaha.

At that festival, we hung out 24/7. Rope swinging over the river at midnight, playing ping pong in the barn at 2am, dancing all day, being thrust into my crazy friendship group with any prior warning, but fitting in perfectly.

You’re a beautiful, unique and fun person and I am so happy to be your friend xx

OYT

I spent the best days of my life on a boat sailing round the Scottish islands with you lot and the memories are ones I will always look back on and smile. Words cannot express how much you all mean to me. You’re absolutely bonkers, but hey, so I am so it’s cool 🙂 Here are just a few moments that capture our friendship perfectly (obviously we did do lots of hardcore sailing amongst all the messing around *wink wink*)

 

  • Me and S desperately trying to teach F how to bake, but eventually giving up ’cause we were laughing too much and ending up just throwing anything we could get our hands on in a mixing bowl. Then being the only ones who would eat it – except Ev and Ew who decided to be nice and give it a go.
  • Walking along the beach on Tiree (a Scottish island), just sharing food and talking.
  • Playing the hand slap game with F and losing so badly, but not giving up. Him laughing at me and how red and sore my hands were.
  • MS getting stuck in a barrel and then literally not being able to get out again.
  • Singing the entire eight minutes of American Pie with Ev and everyone else just looking at us like we’d gone absolutely mad.
  • Singing along to Oasis songs with MC
  • Buying a card in Tobermory that said ‘Mostly Made Of Sugar’, giving it to Ew and him being so happy!
  • Playing Capture The Flag on the beach at Tiree – Ew lying on the sand in a sugar low and everyone mucking about.
  • All the girls swimming in the sea on Tiree – despite it being freezing – and all the boys except Ew being absolute wimps.
  • K tattooing my arm with a pen and writing ‘flat earther’ all over it. Me, K and F hoovering the boat and trying to hoover each others’ hair and squeeze ourselves into all the cupboards.
  • Mad seshing to Tina Turner, Michael Jackson, Scooter and Of Monsters and Men. Everyone going absolutely crazy, turning all the lights off, getting K and Ev up on the table.
  • Banter 24/7
  • The whole world cup situation. Walking around Barra, phones in the air, trying to get a signal, jumping into the road and stopping cars to find out the score, using the binos to look in through people’s windows and their screens. Finding out that England lost and everyone being ecstatic, except Ev (who cried).
  • The boys walking around Tobermory singing the Balamory theme tune and the girls pretending not to know them.
  • The girls sitting drinking hot chocolate and chatting at a cafe in South Uist (being civilised for once lol)
  • Helping Os put his lifejacket on ‘cause he was feeling really ill and needed to go up on deck then the next thing I know Ta the bosun throwing me across the companionway and Os puking right where I was just standing.
  • Hours spent sitting on sail bags and the railings of the pig pen (a sort of cage where all the spare sails are kept) – talking and joking and arguing and the Scottish teasing the ‘dirty English scum’ and the girls beating up the boys and Z constantly falling out onto the deck.
  • Talking with a very sleep-deprived Ew at 3am on Anchor Watch and looking at the stars through the hatch. Waking F and Ev up for their shift and Ev falling straight back asleep, Ew farting in F’s face and F not even noticing because he was still ¾ asleep.

There’s weird dynamics between us now because some of us still see each other and others don’t, some of us keep in touch and others don’t, and we live all over the UK (and one of us in the US). I don’t know where this friendship will go, but the memories will last forever.

E

When two universes collide, two things that are both so beautiful, but somehow completely separate, the result is incredible. I learnt that with you. I only knew you from blogging – this crazy online world where we know each others deepest thoughts, but not the way the other smiles. And then somehow you were there in front of me in real life. Somehow we were drinking hot chocolate in a cafe and talking at a thousand miles an hour about life and writing and everything in between.

Suddenly you were real and it was weird (but in the best of ways). I had to learn to think of you with a different name, a real name, no longer just a pseudonym.

You came to my first spoken word performance, had dinner with my family whilst I was at rehearsals and then you were gone. I’m so glad our lives touched, though just briefly, one surreal whirlwind of hugs and excited words flying through the air.

We talk on the phone sometimes, but you’re busy and I miss you a lot. I’m so proud of everything you’re achieving though. Love you x

B

I just feel like when I’m with you I can be completely, totally and unapologetically myself. We can talk about everything and anything, make each laugh so much that we’re hysterical and I’ll always come away from a conversation with you with the hugest smile on my face.

You’re always so supportive of whatever’s going on in my life and so interested and enthusiastic. Pretty sure that when I text you I use wayyyy too many ALL CAPS and emojis, but you’re the kind of person who really doesn’t mind (and then replies in exactly the same way!)

Put us together and we’re absolutely crazy and will never stop talking, but we’re also full of ideas of how to make this world a better place. As long as we’re friends I don’t think we’ll ever run out of ideas, we bounce off of each others positivity and enthusiasm and desire to make a difference and that’s why we’re such an, um, explosive duo haha.

Love youuuuu!

I & G

I never realised you could get so close to people in only just over a week. The amount of memories we managed to make sailing those few hundred miles from Plymouth to Cowes and then back to Gosport is just absolutely insane.

The Small Ships Race itself was an intense five hours, half the deck underwater, the boat on its side with waves crashing just about everywhere, trying to tie knots knee deep in water and hear the skippers commands over the howl of the wind. As we attempted to eat seawater drenched fish finger sandwiches with fingers that were so cold we could barely open a bottle of ketchup between three of us, we’d look at each other and grin because, despite being soaked through to the skin and freezing cold for the umpteenth time today, this is what we born for, this is where we’re at our happiest.

At the party after the race, everyone else from the other crews had their make up perfect and a flawless outfit and knew all the words to the latest songs – we made up our own moves in our damp hoodies and the space buns we’d spent hours doing for each other.

We’d lay in our bunks at night and talk for hours when the boat was quiet and everyone else was fast asleep. You guys have been through so much and yet you are two of the strongest, most positive people I know. Partly, it was your stories that made me realise just how much I needed to do something to make a difference for my generation.

I can remember walking round the Harry Potter and Marvel shops for hours when we stopped in Weymouth and having to hear the entire plotlines of ever single book & movie , falling asleep in a tangle of limbs as the boat sailed through the darkness at 1am (always alert for the next tack or gybe), taking crazy selfies and modeling in the mist on deserted country lanes, skipping down the road, me diving off the boat and swimming round in the sea (you guys watching and laughing from the deck), working hard and loving every minute, singing Disney songs at the top of our lungs.

No amount of emails, text messages or facetiming could ever continue the bond that we had for those beautiful days, but it was a snapshot in our lives that I’m sure we’ll never forget and one day, when we’re all skippers of our own boats, we’ll meet again out on the wide, open sea……

Xx love you crazy gals Xx

Thanks so much for reading, people!! I’d love to see some of you steal this idea and do the same ❤ 

Gracie xxx

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Rant On Changing The World, The Importance Of Community In Our Society + My Challenge To You

Warning – this is going to be one very ranty post about a ton of things I’ve been thinking about recently so it might not make any sense. Please bear with me though ahaha. This blog is the one place I can just write my heart out and be totally honest so if anyone would give me their thoughts on this, I’d really appreciate hearing what you have to say 🙂

Everything I see around me shows me just how important it is to make a difference. Watching anthropology (the study of humanity) videos when I can snatch some spare Wi-Fi, hearing people talk about their stories, it makes me realise that our world is such a beautiful, messed up place full of such good, but broken people.

It’s the good things too – not just the bad, like when you see people standing up and making a difference in their communities, people like our friends Finlay and Ella who are striking for climate crisis and taking action for our generation, all the other inspiring people we’ve been meeting on this journey and, most of all, the team at CatZero (the charity my family are raising money for on our challenge).

It’s things I read and watch and the conversations I have. It’s Tip from the episode of ‘the Waltons’ that I watched with my family the other day- he’s the life of the party, so full of stories and extravagance and energy, but it’s all a fake. He has no purpose and no one and he’s dying inside because of it. I’ve written about it countless times because I see it so much in my generation. So many people I know are so over-the-top crazy and take nothing seriously, but I know them well enough to see how much they’re struggling underneath it all. They’ll never admit it though and it breaks my heart.

My Mum tells everyone that this trip is born out of my concern for my generation and the issues we’re facing and, although it’s just a word, I feel like such a fake when she says that. What do I know of their struggles? I feel like screaming. It’s not concern, it’s desperation. Tell me again that I should be ‘concerned’ when my friends are getting pregnant, overdosing on drugs, killing themselves, hurting themselves, being held back by their depression and anxiety, feeling alone and hopeless, tell me again that I should be ‘concerned’. I rattle it off like a list, but these are lives we’re talking about here. Human lives. Lives that being destroyed. Your sister. Your son. Your granddaughter. Your best friend. Tell me I’m being dramatic.

We’ve passed through so many little towns on the East Coast of Scotland, all places with bad reputations for drugs and poverty, visitors to that part of the country go round them or pass straight through and never stop. We were welcomed with open arms. These places are struggling, but they have such a strong sense of community, they are coming together and actively doing something to support one another.

Community is truly the answer. If people had a support network of people who cared about them and who they knew they could always depend on, if they were working together to achieve something and keep their community thriving, it would make such a difference.

Greta Thunberg stopped talking because of the effect the way our planet is heading was having on her and some days I understand how she feels, but every day there’s places for me to go and things for me to do and people for me to meet and I’m learning that action is the only way.

I often feel like I’m not doing enough. I lie awake at night because I’m overwhelmed by it all. When I write this, it makes me sounds so selfless, but that’s not the reality at all. I just feel the pain of my generation kinda like it’s my own and although that hurts a lot, it’s also incredibly motivating.

I’m well aware that it’s easy to ramble on about the faults in society and the struggles of young people (well, all people really) without coming up with any answers so that’s why my family are on a search. It’s been continued throughout this journey since starting a lifetime ago, though I think some of what we’ve experienced on this adventure even just in the last seven weeks has been just about the closest we’ve ever come to finding what we believe is the answer – true community.

It exists in little pockets around the world, for sure. Places like those little Scottish towns, but what we need is community on a worldwide scale. People committed to the well-being of their fellow people, people who care about the future generations, people who work in harmony instead of fighting and starting wars. It sounds a long way off, but it starts here, at home. Your family is a mini community of its own and families are just another thing that have broken down in our society today. If we started applying that same mindset of commitment and understanding to the people closest to us, it might just make a difference and you never know, it may reach Donald Trump eventually hehe.

I went on a climate strike with some friends the other day and it made me realise just how good it felt to stand up for something I believe in. That’s what it’s like on this challenge too. I want to challenge everyone (YOU included) just to take one small step towards making a difference in the world we live in.

Here’s something I wrote in my journal a couple of weeks ago that is kinda relevant to what I’m talking (ranting) about today –

I’m nearly ready for bed now and my hair is still wet from the sea. The island of Tiree off of the West coast of Scotland has always been my favourite place in the world, but Durness beach (where we are today) may be a contender for second place.

As soon as Mo (our van) pulled up, I leapt out of the back, skidded down the sand dune, ran across the beach and into the sea. The waves were crashing and the water was so beautiful and blue and so I proceeded to spend the next couple of hours in the ocean. I honestly think that one of the times when I’m at my happiest is when I’m swimming in the sea. It’s hard to describe the feeling except to say that it’s almost the opposite of hopelessness.

It’s simple, pure, sweet freedom and it’s so different from the ache that’s sometimes fills my heart. That’s partly why I love swimming so much. I can’t over-think and every single part of me is focused, plus I love the power and control I feel over my own movement and strength. Also, when I swim as part of a team, it’s like another mini community feeling. Being a part of something positive is so important and it’s what we all need.

Being on top of the world is an extreme, but it gives me hope and it makes me realise that we will all be okay.

I can’t get knocked down by negativity or what use I am to the revolution? As my friend Ruby always tells me, you can’t help anyone if you’re crying on the floor – focus on what you can do, focus on the solution.

We’ve all got to do what we can to help others and play our part in creating a better world. It won’t always be easy, but we’ve got to try. Small steps, people, small steps. Please do let me know how you get on!! I’m also well aware that it’s  not always easy to know what you can do to make a difference so if anyone wants to discuss it, shoot me an email through my contact page and we can have a conversation and figure it out together xx

btw, what posts do you all wanna see coming up? I had the idea to do one with letters to people who’ve meant a lot to me throughout my life or there’s always more rants haha…?? Let me know in the comments xx

A Teenage Perspective: Q&A Collab With Erin @KittyJadeBlog

Hey there people,

Today I bring you a Q&A collab with Erin from KittyJadeBlog. We’ll both be sharing our experiences, opinions and thoughts on the world around us, all from a teenage perspective. To read my answers to Erin’s questions, head over to her blog– be sure to follow, she’s a talented writer and her posts always give me something to think about.

What do you believe are the biggest challenges facing young people in our society?

I know from experience that comparison is one of them. Just looking through your best friend’s story on Snapchat can trigger a certain nerve in your brain that says ‘I wish I was having a day out with my friends’ or ‘I wish I looked as good as her’ etc. Instagram also does this, but you have got to think: would you post a selfie of yourself when you are having a really bad day? Would you not edit your photo before you post it? No one is perfect, no one is not insecure about something (external or internal) and if they did love every bit of themselves every day – they would be vain.

This is very clichè but: when you are happy this won’t matter. Consider your feelings over your body. This is how you are made and you can’t change things (without spending loads of money) about the skin and bone. Maybe take a break from the mirror, the selfie camera, and see the difference.

What do you find most frustrating about the society we live in?

At the moment I am at an age where either you are mature, sensible and hardworking or time-wasting, immature and foolish. I know where I kind of fit in. I go to school and I see people in my form wasting their education because they ‘can’t be bothered’. They are ungrateful for this free education that they have and never considering someone who doesn’t have an education and wants one. So my main frustration is ungratefulness. It is hypocritical of me to say that but if we could change the importance of money and put happiness there instead I think that people would be more grateful. Young people don’t work as much to live nowadays (in certain countries, like England for example) and obviously you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

If I could change one thing, it would be to get people bothering again – rather than can’t be bothered.

What are your plans for the future?

I have only ever been to two continents (Europe and America) so one big thing of my ‘bucket’ list would be to travel and try to explore every continent of the world. In my near future is university. I would like to study politics and English but I’m not sure what the outcome of that would be. Art is another thing that would be an option I could potentially succeed in but the subject would be a hobby, not a career choice. Or maybe it will. I don’t like to plan too far ahead; it will kick me in the butt.

Tell us something you have read/experienced/heard about that has changed the way you have lived your life?

Over the years of my life, many things have influenced me and had a great impression on me. I do not think I could narrow it down to one thing. People obviously play a big part in all of our lives and my biggest influence is the one thing I have grown up with: school. I am so super grateful that I have the opportunity for a free education at the moment and I appreciate the influences that it has on me: so many experiences available, so many people I can see and good and bad influences clearly separated.

If the whole world was listening to you for a couple of minutes and you had their full attention, what would you say?

I love this question. Despite having this great opportunity, I would probably be speechless. There are so many different people in the world and I would want to offend anyone – so I’d probably stay silent. Maybe an awkward ‘hello’? Probably just a smile.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out Erin’s blog to read my answers to her questions.

Now, tell us your thoughts! Discussions welcome in the comments section down below. We wanna hear your answers…from your perspective….

Playground Swings

 

Playground Swings – a poem

**all photo credits to my sister**

silence
a child’s cry
they both call me to this place of familiarity
at different times
I think it’s
the security of a soft landing
the comfort of children playing
the simplicity of just saying
or
or it’s the lonely poeticness of a playground when it’s empty,
the cold, quiet paradox of a place like this in silence.
and something about the way
I can always smile here

thinking out loud on playground swings,
these creaking chains are the only ones that will ever set me free,
and yet still I’m trapped,
torn back down to earth
by the limits of my wings,
I want to fly higher
and I will
never quite knowing
stomach lurching
you will catch me when I’m falling
right?

Hood up
pulled over my face like a shadow
legs stretched to the sky
lips and mind searching for the ‘why’
in everything

my fingers are getting cold
kinda slipping
letting go
I’ve been here too long
nostalgia
memories burn holes
in your pocket
matches set fire to the past
then watch as flames destroy souls
and poetry is composed
and the future is all they leave us
covered in ash
so close and yet so far away

the wind blows in my face
just reminding me of its power
I rise and fall like the waves
and I can do nothing
yet I still strike out for the shore
and swim
but sometimes I am torn between
the devil and the deep blue sea
and sometimes
the mystery of the horizon
is too beautiful
and I fill the ocean with my tears
whilst the tide takes me
and I have to decide whether to fight
or to let go.

but I am stronger
I am stronger
than anyone knows
and I will sing a song
my song
and people will hear me
and they will lean over the fence and listen
and I will be a child on a playground swing again

{Messin’ With A Camera and Some Words}

I’ve taken some kinda aesthetic photos recently. Not a photographer, but I like messing around with my phone camera so yeah, guys, enjoy…

I tell the sunset that I miss you. I tell it how my heart aches and how, if the blue of the sky was a little deeper, it could be an upside-down ocean.

 

~sparkler wizard in his element~

What the mirror sees is what I forget – wild hair and cowgirl jeans. Bracelets up one arm, a metallic road spanning bruised skin stretched over muscle, swimmer’s muscle. Swimmer’s bruises. This is me. 

Fire and noise call me from afar. The drums feel like a revolution. There are crowds, but all I see are hands, tucked in pockets, reaching for the sky, for the fireworks that explode above their heads, just out of reach. Beautiful, but fleeting and no one’s to keep. There’s smoke, but all I see are flames, leaping through the air towards me. They call me, set my soul on fire. There’s sparks that burn my heart and it….it makes me feel alive.

Cars pass like moments, seconds even. Things we wanted to say, but….never did. Times when we turned our unspoken words into sighs….wrote the text message, but deleted it before we pressed send. Talked to the stars. Hid our feelings in metaphors and rhymes. I’m guilty. Another car past.

Stop! Don’t run into the fire, don’t burn, don’t follow the crowd, don’t be hypnotised by the flames, listen to my warning in the dark. Please.

“Mummy, the sky’s on fire.” 

I like talking to the sky. I tell it how I feel and then that I don’t know what to feel. I tell it that I don’t know what to say and it listens. I sing in the car because it makes me feel powerful. Just like when I’m in the water, I feel like I’m on top of the world, but I’m not. I feel the light above me and I fight my way up. 

Shadows And Promises

There are shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that were only ever made.
Not kept.

Waves come crawling back to the shore,
On their hands and knees and full of remorse,
They can’t go back.
Not any more.

One day, people will wake up and open their eyes,
Hollowness will fill up and chemistry will override,
And life will go on.

Maybe we’ll stop doing things whilst not really knowing why,
Stop sitting in the dark and spark a fire.
Maybe we’ll set light to our hearts and learn how to truly love.
Maybe…

And I’ll look out for you because, for a reason I don’t even know,
the perfect, hazy memory of you fills my soul.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

I think of all the nights I’ll cry
because I don’t have the answer,
or the reason why.
And that destroys me.

I dream of shadows that don’t match their shape,
Promises that are only made,
Never kept.
And I need you.
I need you so bad.

On Friendships, Being Different and The Future…

*Note: not attacking/blaming anyone here. These are just my own opinions. If you disagree feel free to say so and we can discuss it 🙂* 

My little sister came home crying today because she feels so different to all of her friends, she feels like she doesn’t fit in. Truth is, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even want to. 

I walk past and see her standing there surrounded by her entire peer group. They’re all around her – singing stupid songs, doing silly things and talking about TV shows and movies she has no interest in. I catch her eye. She looks so sad and alone.

Later, back at home, she’s pretty upset. “Why can’t my friends be normal?” she asks me. Her perception of normal makes me smile. “They are normal” I tell her “It’s you who’s different.”

She doesn’t want to fit in with them, to be the same, to wear the same type of clothes, to talk the same kind of rubbish – she just wants her friends to be themselves,  to have fun and not care about being ‘cool’ and fitting in. She just wants them to see what’s good and important, to realise that what they’re watching, listening to and basing their small-minded lives around is nonsense. No one ever did anything notable by being like everyone else.

Look, I understand how hard it is to escape from. This stuff is all around us. Our own society is telling us how to think and act, but our whole future is at stake here!

I understand my sister’s struggle. It’s kinda like there’s something that sets us apart. Like our eyes are opened.  Like for some reason we can see the stupidity and danger in following the crowd. I listen to the rubbish some of my own friends and I feel like screaming at them “wake up! Is this how you want to spend your life??!?!”

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually even likes this stuff – TV shows, music, internet trends and crazes? Maybe everyone is only obsessed because with it because it’s popular and they think they’ll be left out if they don’t join in with the hype?  Wouldn’t it be cool if one person was like ‘guys, what’re we doing? This is seriously so bad!’ and everyone else admitted they never liked it either?! There’s always got to be a first one, right?!

When I talk to my friends one-on-one we have the BEST conversations. Sure, they’re often a bit crazy, but that’s okay. We talk about our dreams and hopes and our struggles and things we’ve done and learnt. How we feel and things that have made us laugh or smile. We talk about memories and stories and things we’re scared of. Things that make us happy, things that make us sad. Very rarely do I have these conversations when there’s a big group of us. Everyone’s so worried about being popular and liked and fitting in that the conversation always turns back to the same old nonsense. ‘Here we go again.” I think, without enthusiasm. I either roll my eyes and zone out – or listen, get all worked up and offend someone. Oops! 😂

If you’ve known me or have been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know how much I’ve struggled with friendships. It hasn’t been easy for me to avoid peer-pressure. In fact, I’ve probably succumbed to it more than I’d care to admit when things were really tough. I’ve found it so hard to find anyone like me and by ‘like me’ I don’t really mean into the same stuff – I mean not afraid to be themselves and be an individual.

I remember this one day when I just had to let it all go. Holding in the words was suffocating me and I needed to breathe. I wrote this whole long piece, but this was what stood out to me the most when I say back and read through it  at the end:

Do you ever know for certain that you’re not like them or like them or them or them or them? 
but you wonder who you are like?
And you wonder if you’ll ever find anyone like you?

This is why I’m so grateful for the friends I keep in touch with online. They are what real friendship looks like. Blogging friends, friends I’ve met sailing, friends I don’t see often enough, but talk to via email. I’m so lucky and happy with the friends I have in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

So yeah, I’m worried. I’m worried about the future of our world in the hands of this next generation – my generation. We’re lost and the only thing we have to guide us is the negative influences of our society. You see the sickening results of it all around you – mental health, suicide rates, kids nearly losing their lives after jumping out of cars for some new internet trend. Need I say more?

It’s crazy. It’s tragic. And it has to stop. If you’re with me, let me know. It’s not easy for any if of us, but we can do this together, okay 👌❤️

Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

There is so much negativity building up at the moment. Within families, within communities, within society, within humanity as a whole. These things, these things that are the pillars of our world – they’re breaking down, being replaced.

It’s a massive challenge as anyone really, but particularly teenagers, to grow up in this world. It’s so essential that we, as the future, hold on to what is important. Family. Community. Society. Humanity.

This is a huge struggle, but I’m trying to make the decision to understand and believe in these things.

Soooo, that was the thought of the day! If you guys have any comments on that please do let me know.

Now, I’m going to do like a mini update/catch up thingy with everything I need to tell you all. There’s quite a bit!

  • The amazing Bri has just started blogging again after a couple of months. This is such good news. Please go check out her blog and introduce yourself, it’d mean the world to her.
  • I’m participating in Hannah’s photography contest! No, I am not a photographer, but I wanted to try something new and Hannah is just the sweetest, loveliest person.
  • Remember the social experiment a load of you helped me out with a couple of months ago? Well, I’ve nearly finished putting together all my results and I’ll be sharing them on here very soon. Stay tuned.
  • I’m staying at my Nan’s at the moment looking after her as she just has a knee replacement. She’s doing really well as she’s super determined. She ALWAYS reads my blog so please give her a quick ‘get well soon’ in the comments. She’d be thrilled. 😀
  • I’m going to be doing a ‘day in the life of me’ post soon. So I’m quite excited ’bout that. Also, I’m thinking maybe a little Q and A sesh maybe?
  • I think that’s it??????

What was your thought for today? Tell me all your news! Are you excited for all my future plans on this blog? Lemme know….

Wish Me Luck – Spoken Word Poetry Performance Update

Hello there!

In my recent post I talked about an urban music and spoken word poetry performance I am going to be a part of very soon. Well, I’m here with an update on that!

  • The performance is on Thursday and I am SO excited.
  • I went to London for the rehearsals last week and it was AMAZINGGGGG!
  • I have two solos.
  • I am performing two very poignant, topical spoken word pieces written by yours truly.
  • At the rehearsal I spent a hardcore one and a half hours with a spoken word poet learning everything you need to know about performing.
  • I spent another hour running through the whole thing with the rest of the group who are sharing all different genres of music, but all with an urban twist – rap, acapella, reggae, etc.
  • I am basically the complete polar opposite of the word urban #countrygirrrrl so I went to the rehearsals in my wellies. Picture below!

Stay tuned for photos of the actual performance coming soon! Oh, and wish me luck, my friends! *dances* *practices like crazyyyyy* 

 

Writing Competition Hosted By Gracie and Gracie: The RESULTS

The time has come to announce the winners of the writing contest hosted by my friend Gracie Marchiani and myself. I won’t keep you in suspense for too long, but before you become tempted to scroll down and skip this part of the post, I must stress that it is very important, okay?

Right, firstly Gracie and I would like to thank every one of you who entered this competition and contributed a story of your own crafting. You guys are AMAZING writers and we had such a hard time choosing between all of your entries. So, you may all take a bow. *applause*

Originally, we had planned on picking just one overall winner, but a number of factors made us decide to change our minds and award 1st, 2nd and 3rd places. Reason #1. We couldn’t choose just one winner. Reason #2. We know how busy everyone is and we thought that one winner critiquing everyone’s entries would be a liiiiittle overwhelming. So now each winner gets a few stories to give feedback on. Okay?

If you are a winner – I know, I know, the suspense is killing me too – pleaseemailusstraightawaytocollectyourprize,okay?

Phewf, let’s get on with it.

Third prize goes to……

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Emmie from Pheonix American Girl World with her story Ghosts At Sunset Lake!!!

Emmie, we loved your story so much. It was beautifully written and you weaved the prompts insanely well. Congratulations! Please get in touch with us to recieve your prize. Your story ill be posted on both mine and Gracie’s blog within the next few days.

Second Prize is for….

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Emily from The Island Of Me with her story ‘Gone’!!!

Emily, your piece was hauntingly beautiful and deeply thought-provoking. Congrats, girl! You totally deserve your prize, get in touch to claim it. ‘Gone’ will be posted on both Through The Eyes Of Gracie and A Light In The Darkness within the next few days.

And finally, the prestigious prize for first place will be awarded to…..

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Andrea from Spaceships, Vampires and Very Secret Agents with her story ‘Flames’!

ASDFGHJKL, Andrea, we looooooooved your story sooooooo much. It was absolutely amazingly written, your descriptions were beautiful, the drama was intense and you wove the prompts wonderfully. Congratulations! Go get your prize, my friend! Flames will be posted on mine and Gracie’s blog within the next few days.

Massive well done to everyone who won and everyone who entered and YOU, for reading this!